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DawningDaytripper
DawningDaytripper
Apr 18, 2010 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Bloodfire

Contact ignition of mind

body and spirit

committed to the unknown

exposed by strangers

who can drown my peace

rape my poetic body

defame my Gods

their words ring loud

but the echo is short lived

within the dying sound I hear reason

 

Words have a life of thier own

casualties are to be expected

what doesn’t make me vomit

pushes me closer 

 

Misinterpret my words

but you can not change me

for within my blood there is a

fire that feeds me

— DawningDaytripper, Apr 18, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Robe valley, WA, USA

Favorite Poets: All of them, for differant reasons. Neopoet poets have influenced me the most over the last 2 plus years. Great teachers. Edgar Allen Poe, Dickens, way to many to list...

More from this author

Critiques

themoonman

themoonman

16 years 1 month ago

Julie...

Absolutely loved the first line in this, and the rest of it too. dieing, to color something dying, death great write Julie
DawningDaytripper

DawningDaytripper

16 years 1 month ago

Will fix Moonman, but I

Will fix Moonman, but I sense a but. What else you got? What would you do to it? What can I do for that extra star? I am open like a 7-11 for this one. Julie D.D.
themoonman

themoonman

16 years 1 month ago

Well...

There were a couple of places I thought redundant, but sometimes I hold back because I never know if it is good critique or just the way I would do something, do you know what I mean??? empty echo... I would remove "empty", for the echo slowly empties, just a thought I had while reading. Words have a life and death of their own, casualties are to be expected what doesn't make me vomit pushes me closer... hmmmm, I would remove"and death" for it is covered very well by the next line.
DawningDaytripper

DawningDaytripper

16 years 1 month ago

On it, and don’t hold

On it, and don't hold back. We have had enough of that around here lately, you always have a positive to add anyways. So all good. Julie D.D.
Bonitaj

Bonitaj

16 years 1 month ago

Hey Julie!

loved the affirmative strength of the last stanza! esp. "for within my blood there is a fire that feeds me" nice way to visualize PASSION! ;) "what doesn’t make me vomit pushes me closer" This I'm afraid - I found a little too graphic - A Pulp Fiction version of "What doesn't kill me strengthens me"? It's just that "vomit" doesn't sit well with me! lol Other than that - great write! CHeers Bonita j 　
DawningDaytripper

DawningDaytripper

16 years 1 month ago

Well I just couldn’t

Well I just couldn't plagerize the old cliche, so I made it my own. And although I have yet to vomit, that is also my point, it all pushes me closer. But I very much appreaciate your thoughts. I never watch Pulpfiction all the way trough. Funny, I know. Thanks for the read and time, your peaches Boni. Julie D.D.
seabhac

seabhac

16 years 1 month ago

One of my favourites of yours

I like this ,I like the honesty in it. I agree with Bonita about the word vomit...maybe that is personal to you but some people have weak stomachs and puke as a form of defence too readily. My favourite line was rape my poetic body it is such a strong image and evokes a strong sense of poet and body being integral Seabhac
P

panaella

16 years 1 month ago

"rape my poetic body"

Hi, Some really powerful lines and I get the sense of a come back after feeling 'disrespected'...empathise on that one! Ells x
DawningDaytripper

DawningDaytripper

16 years 1 month ago

I am not sure what you mean

I am not sure what you mean Panella, I hear rumors ocasionaly. I was just writing a poem. But yor feedback is valued, thanks for taking the time. I will make time to return the favor. Julie D.D.
M

manawa

16 years 1 month ago

funny how vomit gets a

funny how vomit gets a reaction and rape my poetic body is ok we are curious creatures indeed as I read and reread bloodfire grows yes the momentum builds within the dying sound I hear reason and Misinterpret my words but you can not change me for within my blood there is a fire that feeds me great. cheers manawa
DawningDaytripper

DawningDaytripper

16 years 1 month ago

I so agree Manawa, I meant

I so agree Manawa, I meant both to bring the reader to a sharp point in the poem and make my poetic point. And felt vomit and rape were perfect descriptors of conjuring what I wanted thought at that point of the poem. Poetry, so much more than just words. Also then open for a zillion interpatations. But we all know that when a writer writes a piece it is far from vague in our minds. LOL. Its just our job to make it something everyone can understand. With out boring with the details, and some form, class and creativitiy along the way would be great. Thanks for reading, see ya around. Julie D.D.
xena465

xena465

16 years 1 month ago

I agree. When writing poetry

I agree. When writing poetry there is so much more going on in our minds that the reader can't see. A reader sometimes has to take time to read a poem, rather than hash through it if they want to understand or get the main meaning of the poet's words. Love it julie. Rosina xena465