Those sandwiches were nice

When was the last time you hugged meWhen was the last time you caredWhen's the last time that you held me tightWhen was the last kiss we sharedWhen was the last time you praised meThough it didn’t cut very much iceLets see how well I remember, Oh yes!
Those sandwiches were nice

— shazbat, Apr 15, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Norfolk, UK, GBR

Favorite Poets: Kipling, T.S Eliot, Hilaire Belloc, Ogden Nash, Spike Milligan and many more.

Critiques

Ross Hamilton Hill

16 years 1 month ago

bitter sweet

if you lost the 'tight' in 3rd line the rhythm would be better also last line could be 'those sandwiches, yes, were nice' would also improve metre. hope you pinned this to your partner's pillow.

weirdelf

16 years 1 month ago

I suspect you wrote this to yourself,

and I know it is very uncool to crits someones crit, sorry ross, but I think the word tight is important. Glad to see you doing unexpected things, I like this Cheers, Jess, Reprehensibly irrepressible

shazbat

16 years 1 month ago

Thanks Jess, you suspect

Thanks Jess, you suspect correctly, it's a little reminder that I made the right decision. John