Seren

Apr 13, 2010 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

falling for one minute of heaven

it wasn't till
the tips of fingers
ran down the center
of his back

that stumps
where mentioned,
he said he had fallen
she didn't tip that he meant,
literally

it wasn't till their rapture
reached to the steps
of nirvana

that shimmering skin
brushed at nibbed lust
calling forth a herald
of sacred desires
she didn't realize
he was

till he was dying
and told her
that relinquishing
Eternity for one minute
of lifetime with her

was worth losing
his wings and falling
from the firmament
and the eye of grace

he never told her,
they wouldn't see
the light of heaven
and by his falling

this minute
was all
they had left

— Seren, Apr 13, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Beyond the Black Stump..Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda, P.K.Page, W.H.Auden, to many and various to include them all ...

Critiques

judyanne

16 years 1 month ago

wow

jc, you outdo yourself. i am speechless love judd

Seren

16 years 1 month ago

Thanks I am glad you liked this one love and big hugs Jayne-Chloe (http://www.neopoet.com/forum/36627-meet-n-greet-live-chat-thurs-apr-15th-9-11-pm-ny-est-host-poewriter58-welcome-new-member#comment-175177) ... Be there ~!~!~!

Kailashana

16 years 1 month ago

“I see stars” ~ 2010 ~ A

"I see stars" ~ 2010 ~ A Space Odyssey (Stanley Kubrick) Brilliant my dear, Mum p.s. I read it out loud to Barry, there's a couple of stumbles... You'll know where. K? "Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it." ~ A Course In Miracles

Seren

16 years 1 month ago

Dear Mum

So happy you liked this one and its not fully finished yet I will get back to it in a couple of days when things arent so hectic love and biggest hugs Jayne-Chloe (http://www.neopoet.com/forum/36627-meet-n-greet-live-chat-thurs-apr-15th-9-11-pm-ny-est-host-poewriter58-welcome-new-member#comment-175177) ... Be there ~!~!~!

loved

16 years 1 month ago

lovely

deserves spot light we have to lose in order to gain gr88 words urs loved every bit of it LOVED

Seren

16 years 1 month ago

Don’t know about spotlight

Don't know about spotlight but I am very happy you liked it love and big hugs Jayne-Chloe x x (http://www.neopoet.com/forum/36627-meet-n-greet-live-chat-thurs-apr-15th-9-11-pm-ny-est-host-poewriter58-welcome-new-member#comment-175177) ... Be there ~!~!~!

CyberSpace

16 years 1 month ago

great story cant wait to

great story cant wait to read the rest love hubby xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Seren

16 years 1 month ago

Thanks hun glad you liked

Thanks hun glad you liked this one mwah love Wifey x x x x x (http://www.neopoet.com/forum/36627-meet-n-greet-live-chat-thurs-apr-15th-9-11-pm-ny-est-host-poewriter58-welcome-new-member#comment-175177) ... Be there ~!~!~!

panaella

16 years 1 month ago

Brilliant

OK...that's it!....you're brilliant...... I'm giving up reviewing you work...it's getting boring( my comments) I can't keep up! Getting my vote too. Luv Ells xxx

Seren

16 years 1 month ago

oh dear Ells I am not

oh dear Ells I am not brilliant, thanks for that lovely compliment its nice to know when people enjoy my poetry ... I laughed out loud at the brilliant there are those that would disagree lmao ~! already started on the edit and its nearly done love and hugs Jayne-Chloe x x x (http://www.neopoet.com/forum/36627-meet-n-greet-live-chat-thurs-apr-15th-9-11-pm-ny-est-host-poewriter58-welcome-new-member#comment-175177) ... Be there ~!~!~!

Seren

16 years 1 month ago

Dear Theo

I can usually say your one person that picks up on the messages in my work ... but your looking the wrong way this time lol .... look down not up lol;) Jayne-Chloe (http://www.neopoet.com/forum/36627-meet-n-greet-live-chat-thurs-apr-15th-9-11-pm-ny-est-host-poewriter58-welcome-new-member#comment-175177) ... Be there ~!~!~!

Seren

16 years 1 month ago

Blasphemy in poetry maybe

Blasphemy in poetry maybe lol but no franchise I am a lone trader ;) Jayne-Chloe (http://www.neopoet.com/forum/36627-meet-n-greet-live-chat-thurs-apr-15th-9-11-pm-ny-est-host-poewriter58-welcome-new-member#comment-175177) ... Be there ~!~!~!

raj

16 years 1 month ago

your poem is well

your poem is well crafted..modulated...lively... i am new here....must say i am enjoying the assortments dished out ...raj..

Seren

16 years 1 month ago

Dear Sublime

Thanks for the read and the comment Jayne-Chloe (http://www.neopoet.com/forum/36627-meet-n-greet-live-chat-thurs-apr-15th-9-11-pm-ny-est-host-poewriter58-welcome-new-member#comment-175177) ... Be there ~!~!~!

U K Atiyodi

16 years 1 month ago

Falling for one minute of heaven

A real experience of rapture leading us to the abode of God where only Shanti remains.

Kailashana

16 years 1 month ago

Ah…… when one

Ah...... when one experiences Nirvana.... Om Shanti Om, Anna "Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it." ~ A Course In Miracles

Seren

16 years 1 month ago

once was there but now it

once was there but now it seems so far away like a thread of thought just out of reach hugs Jayne-Chloe x x x (http://www.neopoet.com/forum/36627-meet-n-greet-live-chat-thurs-apr-15th-9-11-pm-ny-est-host-poewriter58-welcome-new-member#comment-175177) ... Be there ~!~!~!

Seren

16 years 1 month ago

thank you for your lovely

thank you for your lovely comment Namaste love and hugs Jayne-Chloe x x x (http://www.neopoet.com/forum/36627-meet-n-greet-live-chat-thurs-apr-15th-9-11-pm-ny-est-host-poewriter58-welcome-new-member#comment-175177) ... Be there ~!~!~!

Adam Barnard

16 years 1 month ago

Poets

Poets you got to love them This was beautiful

Seren

16 years 1 month ago

Dear Adam

How true it is even the controversial poets where admired lol thanks for the read i ahve one more edit to do and then this ones finished love and hugs Jayne-Chloe (http://www.neopoet.com/forum/36627-meet-n-greet-live-chat-thurs-apr-15th-9-11-pm-ny-est-host-poewriter58-welcome-new-member#comment-175177) ... Be there ~!~!~!

Orphani

16 years 1 month ago

Did an angel give up

Did an angel give up eternity to be human, and share his last moments of life with the one that life would not be worth living without? Some times the price of love is high. Clever. Love B

Seren

16 years 1 month ago

Dear B

Just for once I know its probably blasphemous but I thought insteed of falling for pride old red could fall for love ... very happy you liked it hun ((hugs)) you take care of each other love and big hugs JayCee x x (Quote:- It is a thousand times better to have common sense without education than to have education without common sense.---Robert Green Ingersoll)

Bonitaj

16 years 1 month ago

WOW, WOW, WOW!

Jc, Seren, JAY-CEE, "A Rose by any other name would smell as sweet". This one really "raised me up" to celestial heights! Absolutely breath takingly beautiful! You Go girl! Send me some of that muse ;) lol Boni

Seren

16 years 1 month ago

Dear Boni

My goodness is that you ~! lovely picture nice to finally see a face smiles ... very glad you liked this one ... its not quite done couple of tweaks I plan to make but I will do then down the track as I usually do thanks for the comment love JayCee Quote:- It is a thousand times better to have common sense without education than to have education without common sense.---Robert Green Ingersoll

J J Lane

16 years 1 month ago

nicely free - loved

nicely free - loved 'nibbled desire', not sure about repetition of 'desire' two lines later - very simple, elegant style.

Seren

16 years 1 month ago

Dear JJ

Thanks for the comment as I just told Boni this ones not quite done and that second desire is on the chopping block plan to make a small change ... thanks for the read and the comment kind regards Jayne-Chloe Quote:- It is a thousand times better to have common sense without education than to have education without common sense.---Robert Green Ingersoll

Seren

16 years 1 month ago

Dear Navvy

I havent heard that song in forever lol thanks for reminding me of it They call where I live the crust of natures wonderland ... I live inbetween the ocean and the mountains I have the best of both worlds where the great dividing range splits into the brothers is near where i live ... it is very beautiful rich dairy and farmland around where I live thanks for your most kind comment I do appreciate it love and biggest hugs JayCee Quote:- It is a thousand times better to have common sense without education than to have education without common sense.---Robert Green Ingersoll

pleiades

16 years 1 month ago

loosing…losing?my

loosing...losing? my immediate thought upon finishing this read, was that it is profoundly beautiful. subsequent reads haven't altered that initial thought there's something quite compelling about this write is it the spiritual content? is it the thought of such a love? is it the fact that it can just as easily be a literal or metaphorical write? that it can speak to readers in completely different ways? don't know...don't really care i'm just content to wallow in the beauty of this write... to feel what it makes me feel. to repeat my original comment... profoundly beautiful. cheers p.

Seren

16 years 1 month ago

Dearest P

What can I say to your beauty of a comment ... to feel what it makes me feel ... that has to be one of the best compliments ive ever received this little scribble has a secret meaning to me as a lot of my poetry ... for me its the spiritual thought of such love I guess ... that someone mantled in grace would fall for love and human mortal love ... sacrifice for love is always beautiful ... and in some way we all sacrifice in some small way thanks for the wonderful comment and picking up losing lol I missed it on a few edits fixed now and I changed another word I planned to change love and big hugs JayCee x x x ("Quote:-For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it. For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it.-Ivan Panin")