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Muted in the Moment

I watched as the panorama
found harmony
the sky slipped into the
white lipped mouth
of mountains

supplication floated

blue turned mute,
mixed with Grey's
of twilight,
her fingers
lightly took one last
grasp on Azimuths cowl,
then disappeared
for the half turn

in a depth of silence
the first movement
of night,

was to regain
her stolen breath
of awe

— Seren, Apr 07, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Beyond the Black Stump..Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda, P.K.Page, W.H.Auden, to many and various to include them all ...

More from this author

Critiques

Esker

Esker

16 years 2 months ago

Brand new poem

absolutely love the new words of yours and structure "azimuths cowl," you do know how to find the heart of a poet!! I am in awe Seren Esker~
Seren

Seren

16 years 2 months ago

Dear Steven

The very heart of a poet lies in you my friend thanks for your lovely compliment this ones not finished decided to work on it at the site and just post love and hugs JayCee x x x
P

poewriter58

16 years 2 months ago

Serene

Beautiful work here. I wonder if you put a "the" in from of mountains , would that change your meaning Excellent wording Chrys
Seren

Seren

16 years 2 months ago

Dear Chrys

I dont believe a 'the' would change the meaning I had 'the' there to be honest and took it out ... this ones not been edited I decided for a change to edit on site and work with it from here ... thanks so much for your comment I am glad you liked this one love and hugs JayCee
Candlewitch

Candlewitch

16 years 2 months ago

Dear Jayne

I'm sorry to say that this isn't one of my favorites of yours. Somehow, it and I just didn't connect, but I suppose that is bound to happen once in awhile. Don't feel blue, I usually love your work. Love, Cat
Seren

Seren

16 years 2 months ago

Dear Cat

There is no harm or foul in being honest thanks for the comment though love and hugs JayCee
xena465

xena465

16 years 2 months ago

It reads lovely JayCee. I

It reads lovely JayCee. I particularly like: the sky slipped into the white lipped mouth of mountains...Beautiful. Rosina xena465
Seren

Seren

16 years 2 months ago

Dear Rosina

thank you so much for your lovely comment ... I am going to work on this one a little more on the site will be updating it over the next couple of weeks a couple of times I also liked those lines but I believe I can improve on them as they sit now love and big hugs JayCee x x x
Seren

Seren

16 years 2 months ago

I am off my game of late

I am off my game of late Judd but I will get my groove back lol thanks for the comment glad you liked this one not quite finished but I will fix it in a week or so let it breathe for a bit love and hugs JayCee x x x