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Proprietress of Crimson Hearts
Proprietress of Crimson Hearts
Apr 06, 2010 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

stridulate in midnight-dew

I.

I bow down to the wandering moon
in solemn procession, so hushed
I dislocate your ivory sun
take a handful of your ashes
and sacrifice them to the wind

when you have blown away
have vanished on the tranquil tide
the acheta domesticus will cry
perceived only by the iniquity
of our unworthy senses

despairingly
she will immolate
her mesothoracic wing

 

II.

I sense the dew on your skin
lovely midnight-dew, all black and golden
I tenderly stroke your memory
to endure these burnt-out feelings
flowing unadulterated
within my confusion

hunched
I move in a crawl, soft and slow
as if I knew what I was doing


III.

once
I chose to capture
your most gentle haze




— Proprietress of Crimson Hearts, Apr 06, 2010

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Critiques

weirdelf

weirdelf

16 years 2 months ago

Gorgeously poignant

and well worth the wait But I wish, I wish, I wish so many parts and sounds need not have been discarded Cheers, Jess, Reprehensibly irrepressible
Proprietress of Crimson Hearts

Proprietress o…

16 years 2 months ago

Jess,

wow, what a quick reaction :) thank you so much for reading and commenting it is highly appreciated! hugs, Kata
ID

Ink Dragon

16 years 2 months ago

YAY you!

My dearest Kata, the title alone is reason enough to read this - and of course, the poetess is the ultimate reason to read it. You know I love it, don't you? Just one suggestion: in l.5, perhaps a stronger verb than give? As always, you will know where you want to go with this line, but give did strike me as a little weakish here. Other than that, great word choices and great imagery, as usual. Love from here to there, see you soon, sweety. Yours, ~Nina P.S. I think a typo crept in, percieve/perceive ? P.P.S. Thought you might want to know that this one made spotlight in half an hour, which can be considered a record nowadays. Congrats!
Proprietress of Crimson Hearts

Proprietress o…

16 years 2 months ago

Nina,

thank you for your good advice, no one can give it as tactfully as you. you should take over the site... oh wait... you did.. congrats and shame on you for not telling me ;) freu mich schon auf samstag! Kata
OM

odd molly

16 years 2 months ago

the title is as a poem in

the title is as a poem in itself and Iam totally amazed when reading your beautifully written poem.. it is as a pure volatile state and it makes tears. love. o molly
Proprietress of Crimson Hearts

Proprietress o…

16 years 2 months ago

molly, o molly, odd molly

thank you for the read and the sweet comment. I just noticed that the word combination odd molly is gorgeous typographically! does your name have a story behind it? would love to know more :) Kata
OM

odd molly

16 years 2 months ago

all but one.. she was just

all but one.. she was just herself .. I believe that there are lots of Molly out there - and it is for them I write my poetry. love. o molly
Proprietress of Crimson Hearts

Proprietress o…

16 years 2 months ago

Kaligantsaros,

nope, no lepidopterists involved in this one. but that's a neat idea, though. would love to see your take on that in a poem! lube with dew... sounds fun... ;) Kata
Seren

Seren

16 years 2 months ago

Dear Kata

Just a couple of hours ago I was leaving message to say come back and I log in to find you in Spotlight ... sigh this is a good night a beautiful poem dear one love JayCee x x x
Proprietress of Crimson Hearts

Proprietress o…

16 years 2 months ago

JayCee,

yes, thank you for that, I wouldn't have posted this if not for you and Ziggy, I just couldn't resist... I wish I had more time, though, to comment and read and drown myself in all your wonderful splendor. loads of hugs, Kata
Beauregard

Beauregard

16 years 2 months ago

Kata!

There isn't anything I can find to improve! I love the crying crickets and the golden-black dew. Your little Vampire misses you! Kelsey
Proprietress of Crimson Hearts

Proprietress o…

16 years 2 months ago

my vampyre,

I miss you too!!!!!! Nina just told me that you were gone, so I didn't notice because I wasn't here either, but I'm glad you're back! will you be re-posting some of your older poems too? I hope I can find some time soon, I'm going crazy working... who thought photography could be so exasperating... a hearty *ick* from the dark side, Kata
Z

ziggy

16 years 2 months ago

hi

hi what a surprise to find you on spot after reading some of your older writes early on today , title brill fav lines " these burnt out feelings flowing unadulterated within my confusion " thank you ,,,,zigs
Proprietress of Crimson Hearts

Proprietress o…

16 years 2 months ago

Ziggy, Ziggy, ZIGGY!

yeah, thank you for that, I realized how much I missed Neo after reading your comments AND since I don't really have the time to enjoy and comment the wonderful poems here (I am actually getting myself in huge trouble just writing thank you comments today) I thought I'd post something, just for that little bit of interaction, you know? ack, I wish I had more time... miss you, Ziggy, and thank you thank you THANK YOU :) love, Kata
DawningDaytripper

DawningDaytripper

16 years 2 months ago

Kata, you have returned!

Kata, you have returned! Well we knew you would, but feel so honored. Honor you say, Yes, honored to get to read your posts. Even far in between. Well I am just speechles, well beyond giving an opinion. But if I have to try to give one it would be this. In lines 1.1, 1.3, 2.1 you use "your" a litte over much having 1 "your skin" and 2 "your wandering" in the first lines. and with "your ivory" it convinced me to mention it. Great read Kata, welcome home. I hope to see you around somemore. Julie D.D.
Proprietress of Crimson Hearts

Proprietress o…

16 years 2 months ago

Julie!

that was it! I was not conviced by the first line, somehow it just wasn't as smooth as the rest. I took out the 'your' and replaced it with a simple 'the' and I feel that the line has a much softer melody to it, which is exactly where I wanted to go with this. and its one less 'your'. what do you think, like it better now? THANKS! you've made one Proprietress very happy today :)
Z

ziggy

16 years ago

well hello

hi yes it`s me again wondering if you have any spare time out from your photography to post us another gem , i just popped in to read this again still loving it ,,,,,,,,zigs
theladyblue

theladyblue

16 years ago

Kata

i have come late to the ball but am lucky enough to catch a glimse of the Queen Ma'am, I wish I was half the poetess you are and that I fear will never change...wonderful! <3 Emarie "i read you and see…that between the pen, paper and you…there is little room for me…" ~ heart breaker~ Go Live & Get Rewarded!!! Check us out at http://www.neopoet.com/forum/20761 & the Community Calender!!!
M

magics02

16 years ago

Beauty write here

Just loved the flow and the words, the image it created for me Bravo Lady Love,Mona xoxox TIME well spent is TIME well lived