Absent Sounds

Cutting in
- but cast to the side,

After the conspiratorial glance
That surrounds the words
Speaks its own form of silent communication.

Withdrawing
- sitting on the fraying fringe,

Waiting for the web to give
Beneath the weight of unrealistic expectations,
As Silence envelops the tongue
And houses the hermit soul.

— Blue_Halcyon, Apr 05, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Florida, USA

Favorite Poets: Sylvia Plath, Rumi, Kahlil Gibran, Edgar Allen Poe, Lewis Carrol, Yeats, Bukowski, Langston Hughes, Johanne Wolfgang von Goethe, ect.

Critiques

yenti

16 years 2 months ago

Blue

A complex little piece that holds so much I think this was really great, thank you for posting, Yours Ian.T

Morgana Tragic…

16 years 2 months ago

This is awesome, but it does

This is awesome, but it does sound unfinished. For example, in the beginning, what is cutting in and where to? And this line- Speaks its own form of silent communication. Seems a little long, maybe try making "silent communication" it's own line? "sitting on the fraying fringe" is a FANTASTIC line, a subtle image of something on the edge but not finished nor at a conclusion, just there. But what happens after silence envelopes the hermit soul? is there a breaking point, is there something more to how the hermit soul feels? and who is giving the unrealistic expectations? Just some stuff to ponder, maybe help you finish it. :) Peace!!!! *tackles Athena with a huge hug!!*

Blue_Halcyon

16 years 2 months ago

Thanks Katie

Yeah, I didn't have a thesaurus with me at work - I wanted to put something different for silent communication, but couldn't think of anything better at the time. Not having the internet available when I write sucks a bit. But yeah, I was hoping to get the kind of feedback you're giving, so I could improve it. It did seem a bit unfinished to me as well, but I just can't see where to take it just yet.