ziggy

Apr 03, 2010 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

eternity awaits

from within the gravity
of my mass i draw you
with my celestial reach
through the dark recesses
of space and time be my
light shine .

worshiped in it`s wonderment
our heavenly challis the aurora
borealis , spilling over cascading
dancing through the atmosphere
our sphere .

illuminating attraction when
solar winds erode the surface
of a past holding you within the
circumference of one`s grasp .

your my dawn let me be the one you shine upon
fulfilling me with your essence, leaning back
with open arms accepting all your heavenly charms

till reason fails and breath abates eternity awaits .

— ziggy, Apr 03, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: IRL

Critiques

seabhac

16 years 2 months ago

Yoo...good evening Ziggy

Liked the title and the opening stanza but hit a glitch in the line be my light shine....grammer or play of the words not quite right here try to jiggle it about a bit. Typo on the line be my dawn let me be the one you shine apon ( upon) Also the two bes on this line is too much unless we are talking pencils or a depth to the word be I am not seeing immediatly. Seems I'm nit picking here but just as it comes to me I say but I like the feel of this and where it takes me.Is this a new romance perhaps? Sorry born curious Seabhac

ziggy

16 years 2 months ago

hi

cheers , i`ll edit tommorrow just wrote this now, sat night time for a few beers ere have a good one ,,,,,,,,,zigs

ziggy

16 years 2 months ago

hi

hi i must thank you for your helpfull comments i made a few changes , i have a habit of late of posting some unedited don`t know why , i do be looking out for your comments as i know how honest you are and always helpfull ,,,,,,,many thanks ,,,zigs

seabhac

16 years 2 months ago

Well done

I think the changes you have made to this are excellent, you have tightened the thoughts and it reads so much better. Well worth the time it must have taken You have birthed a beautiful poem Seabhac

loved

16 years 2 months ago

now i see

now i see why i can't understand yee u r too good to wonder about a human mind urs is above mankind loved stars to all gr888 poets you 2222222222

ziggy

16 years 2 months ago

hi

lol hi i wish i was all that but thank you indeed ,,,,zigs

pamela

16 years 2 months ago

?

Dear Z., I really loved this, the whole thing was just heavenly. One word threw me off just a little why pimpled? It almost doesnt fit. The last line is the one I like the best. P.

ziggy

16 years 2 months ago

hi

hi yes you were right , i posted this unedited so i knew i`d be coming back to it again cheers for your input ,zigs

Seren

16 years 2 months ago

Dear Ziggy

Heavenly write my friend ... sigh just beautiful love JayCee

ziggy

16 years 2 months ago

hi jayne

hi there cheers jayne since adding you as a friend i cant belive how many you post its mad how do you keep them coming i can`t keep up ,,,,,,,,,,,zigs

xena465

16 years 2 months ago

You’re such a romantic

You're such a romantic Ziggy...I love it Rosina xena465

ziggy

16 years 2 months ago

lol

i have my moments fleeting as they are lol cheers thank you ,,,,,, ps, dont tell anyone it would ruin my image lol......ziggy

xena465

16 years 2 months ago

I’ve posted

I've posted it!!! Rosina xena465

Candlewitch

16 years 2 months ago

Dear Ziggy

An enchanted write, to say the very least. You are a romantic darling, dear man. I sighed all the way through. Always, Cat

ziggy

16 years 2 months ago

cat

hi cat lol thats two sighs i got on this,me a romantic na never lol its just my idle mind wandering cheers cat this sort of wrote its self i was just holding the pen ,,,,,,,,zigs

loved

16 years 2 months ago

REALLY NICE

We poets Each one of us is unique I have no ability to comment, Nor correct, As any comma and full stop change, Will the poet’s originality derange? But five stars we must give So the poet is ready For his next kill. Gr8888888888 poetry Lovely Spot light worthy

ziggy

16 years 2 months ago

hi

cheers and thank you ,,,,,zigs