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Go to hell

The darkness is choking

every effort draining my soul

I try to scream for help

but no one is left to hear
 

I fail to struggle to my feet

sucked back down

in a liquid quicksand

of negativity compounded

by sticky innuendo

distrust and rumors

boiling the mix

to a hellish temperature
 

Victims lay bloody

at the edges of my

narrowed vision

fading in and out

they are covered in thick tar

oozing guilt and shame

their putrid essence

filling the noxious air

suffocating my labored lungs

death on what was left of their faces

as if a corrupt, corrosive venom

was eating at their flesh like acid
 

I can feel it eating me

burning from within

not flames of salvation

begging for a sterile end…

such are fires of damnation

we can only beg for a calming rain

a peace before it is doomed to be

repeated in our own hell

 
 

Julie

D.D.

4-3-2010

 

— DawningDaytripper, Apr 03, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Robe valley, WA, USA

Favorite Poets: All of them, for differant reasons. Neopoet poets have influenced me the most over the last 2 plus years. Great teachers. Edgar Allen Poe, Dickens, way to many to list...

More from this author

Critiques

Nordic cloud

Nordic cloud

16 years 2 months ago

Wow what a dream Julie O!

Ann of Norway Creepy and coloured by the times as nothing is believed but the things somehow made monstrous and grotesque, and you have painted the picture of evil enough to envelop your own guts in the vortex of their fantasy, oh quiver and quake, you get me in a state of fear, and whoever you are saying 'go to Hell' to, must have been, or is there by now. Super: draining, sucked, putrid, choking, oozing, quicksand, noxious,death, corrupt, corrosive venom, sterile, damnation, DOOMED. OHOoooo love it Julie love from Ann, I shall be scared to disappoint you !!!!!!
DawningDaytripper

DawningDaytripper

16 years 2 months ago

Thankfully not a dream Ann,

Thankfully not a dream Ann, a vision and not mine. But I do believe I did it justice. I liked my descriptors alot to, it was even fun. Thanks for your read and comment Ann, appreaciated as always. Julie D.D.
P

pamela

16 years 2 months ago

powerful

Dear D., What a powerful poem. It painted a horrid picture to be sure, but the style and form are wonderful. You are soooooo gooood! Now about those nightmares. P.
DawningDaytripper

DawningDaytripper

16 years 2 months ago

Thanks pamela, I was going

Thanks pamela, I was going for horrid. Glad you like it. And if I could do a darn thing about my dreams I would, thankfuly this vision wasn't mine. I just put it to words lol. Julie D.D.
Seren

Seren

16 years 2 months ago

Dear Julie

Brilliantly dark loved it one of your best love JayCee x x x
Beauregard

Beauregard

16 years 2 months ago

Julie!

this is dark and gross and yummy and OMG. hehe 1. omit the comma on the title 2. stanza 2: face's--> faces 3. stanza 3: 'almost' flames?? 4. "they are covered in thick tar/oozing guilt and shame"--> That kicks ass quit and to the point babe. ;) Kelsey
DawningDaytripper

DawningDaytripper

16 years 2 months ago

You are so right my Dark

You are so right my Dark inspiration, I thank you for all 4 points, espeacialy agree with 3. I think its already changed. But if not, will do. Thanks for 4. Julie D.D.
Beauregard

Beauregard

16 years 2 months ago

much better!

bellissimo! Kelsey PS: I LOVED all the gory descriptions, but #4 was my favorite =]
weirdelf

weirdelf

16 years 2 months ago

This was my life until 6 months ago

I sit here reeling. No wonder I was such a cranky old bastard. Cheers, Jess, “The political arena leaves one no alternative, one must either be a dunce or a rogue.” Emma Goldman
Beauregard

Beauregard

16 years 2 months ago

I'm

a young cranky bitch, is that sufficient? hehehe Kelsey
xena465

xena465

16 years 2 months ago

It’s good to write about

It's good to write about anger sometimes and you certainly managed to let the rage flow...Brilliant Julie. Rosina xena465
Rett

Rett

16 years 2 months ago

I'm late but...

WOW!...remind me to NEVER EVER, Under any circumstances at all, to piss you off!..Uh, the poem was great! very intense! Respectfully, Rett: “Anyone who sacrifices liberty for security deserves neither.” Benjamin Franklin
DawningDaytripper

DawningDaytripper

16 years 2 months ago

WHAT, it was hell. Was I

WHAT, it was hell. Was I supposed to add lilys.... well maybe I will. Ok, not. Thanks for reading Paw, I can't wait till your book shows up on my door, ground shipping from monday, so I am thinking wed-thurs. HOW EXCITING!! ((((HUGS)))) Julie D.D.
A

anonymous1

16 years 2 months ago

Liked so many lines.

Good poem, Julie. I wouldn't change a thing. Lisa