David

Strike that last part about carpel tunnel! I can type with one hand! And I don't know who I thought I was fooling about going to bed, I'm a total insomniac. Critique: 1st same thing about the flow and capitals and punctuation as Snapshot of Life. Also, another little snippet of information: I used to capitalize every line too because I thought it was the way you're supposed to do it. That is the way it used to be done but modern poetry steers away from it for the sake of better flow and ingenuity. Just thought I'd share that. Stanza 1: your--you're (both times) around-->around me (those lines sound like they end too abruptly to me, so I would suggest putting in an extra syllable with the addition of the word me, to fix that. I'm not sure how else I could explain this if it doesn't make sense, but I can try to explain it another way, if you need me to) that's--> that Stanza 2: weird feeling: don't just tell the reader that it's weird to miss someone. Some of us have never been in love so we may not know how this feels. Use imagery and description to help us feel that feeling so we can connect with you. Stanza 4: even the impossible--> even the impossible (extra space between 'the' and 'impossible') wonderful feeing: again, try to make us single weirdos feel this wonderful feeling! feel, like--> feel like Stanza 6 to--> too Stanza 7: scary feeling: Why is it scary to love? Help us feel this and understand it! Showing a reader rather than just telling them can be very difficult, so don't get too worked up about this and definitely don't get yourself frustrated over it, just keep the idea in your head that some readers may not understand love or the feeling you're talking about, so help them out! Imagery, good descriptions, metaphors, similes, personification, even hyperbole, can all help you help us understand the feelings in a poem. Look them up! Kelsey