Dalton

Apr 01, 2010 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

A Vision

A vision wandered from an arbour
Since darkness garbed her heart in weight
Her dead love she did court with laughter
And lead him through the kissing gate

In life so brief to secret meet
Down beneath the kissing gate
And find a place to love discreet
Since darkness garbed their heart in weight

For gifts the mother gave a twine
Which garbed their heart in darkest hate
And wove a lovat deep as wine
To poison plant the kissing gate

The garb he took and therein she bound
Down beneath the kissing gate
He kissed her softly and therein drowned
Since darkness garbed his heart in weight

The raiment gifted clung entwined
A lover waits at the kissing gate
For a slow releasing poison twine
Yet darkness reached his heart too late

He ran to find his love too late
And darkness drowned his heart in weight
He laid his breast upon his blade
And died beneath the kissing gate

A vision wandered from an arbour
Since love had freed her heart from hate
Her one love she did court with laughter
And lead him through the kissing gate...

— Dalton, Apr 01, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: The Celestial River

Favorite Poets: Shane MacGowan, Dylan Thomas, Qays ibn Al-Mulawwah, Wallada bint al-Mustakfi, Rumi, Khalil Gibran, Yona Wallach, Arthur Rimbaud, Paul Eluard, Brendan Behan, James Clarence Mangan, William Blake, Tom Waits, Charles Bukowski, Forough Farrokhzad, Thomas Chatterton

Critiques

Roscoe Lane

16 years 2 months ago

Brilliant,

I think this is a masterpeice of work, really beautiful Dalton. Five stars but you deserve more. Regards Roscoe...

Draki

16 years 2 months ago

Great poem. I would replace

Great poem. I would replace the word 'and', in the fourth stanza in both cases with a comma, but that's just me. :)

Dalton

16 years 2 months ago

Thank you for you views. I

Thank you for you views. I really didn't think anyone would take this one seriously. It's abit like an inferior facsimile of Sir Walter Scott, although I only know one of his poems "The Scottish Knight and the Ladye Bright" or something like that. I think it's a form of villanelle with the repeating line: "The Sun shines fair on Carlisle wall" and I love his line: "For Love is Lord of All" but that's also a line from a traditional Irish ballad: "The Moorlough Shore". Thankyou for your interest. That's how an artist grows. John

lyz

16 years 2 months ago

Oh dear Dalton

As always, a wonderful piece. You never cease to amaze. This poem is a vision in itself. love Lyz. XX

pamela

16 years 2 months ago

breathtking

Dear D., the meter(8&9 very hard) in this one is just awesome. I love the way it flows together. A true work of art. P.

Ravenshakti

16 years 2 months ago

Hello John...

Very, very nice... I feel it's one of your best. I see your Muse is back... Gentle regards, Raven

Dalton

15 years 11 months ago

Dearest Raven

Thankyou Raven. The Muse is a strange mistress, one moment she is there, the next she's taken flight. She seems to be a little with me now. john

xena465

16 years 2 months ago

Sometimes when we write a

Sometimes when we write a poem and have doubts, it usually turns out to be one of your best. Brilliant. Rosina xena465

Electric Blue

16 years 1 month ago

A Vision

John Truely a vision I wish to find. Where is this kissing gate and a knight to join me there. With a heart so true would I give to you my knight. In the shadows be until I fill it with blinding light I will awake you soul. I have a double arbour still to errect and a wishing well too. Wonderful Electric Blue

Dalton

16 years 1 month ago

i used the word arbour to

i used the word arbour to mean a wooded area, is this the wrong word. well poetic license eh? maybe someone else could improve it. i won't quit my day job.

magics02

16 years 1 month ago

MagnificoJohn

Just wonderful here and I love all your writes so far, leaves me sometimes breathless, imagery wonderful, smooth and articulate. Love, Mona oxoxo TIME well spent is TIME well lived

amalzamani

16 years ago

I've never seen a kissing gate!

...I'll need to read about it. I had a feeling it's a villanelle, but wasn't sure until I read your comment...isn't it a bit long for a villanelle? unless there are other forms of Villanelle I don't know? here is the one I know from Wiki http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Villanelle

Dalton

15 years 11 months ago

A Villanelle

I don't really know how long a villanelle should be, its structure is loosely that of one. john, thanks for your interest