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artygirl87
artygirl87
Mar 30, 2010 ⭐ See this poem's read count — a supporter feature

What I'd Give For You

I'd give you my freedom,

I'd give you my hope,

I'd give you anything,

If it helped you cope.

I'm sorry if I danced in your heart,

Poisoned your mind,

I wanted to give you the love,

You wanted to find.
— artygirl87, Mar 30, 2010

About the Author

Country/Region: AUS

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Critiques

L

lyz

16 years 3 months ago

Dear Arty girl

To give, yes, how often has one been down this path. I did stumble over line 5 though, I have no suggestions though, but maybe just a tweak will give it a lift. Otherwise, it read well. Lyz. XX
S

Skybones777

16 years 3 months ago

HiYa

this is a good start is there a part 2? PeAcE ...LatRe8^)
Mark

Mark

16 years 3 months ago

hi ..Girl

I like this poem. I think the title makes it work. The iamb is well employed for a good taste the lines roll off quite nice :) The theme is of love in it's way and is a nice approach imo A suggestion may be to find another word for one of the two my(s) in the first two lines but they may get along with the title :~) truly, Mark Resilient Flexibility

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