Seren

Mar 29, 2010 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

a flame in memory

I find a space
inside my mind
letting go as
I begin to unwind

fingers of thought
stretching out
tips graze the moon
skin begins to turnout

mind inside out
I float the sky,
laying in star-beds
eating dust-pie

eagles they shoot
within the black hole,
the phoenix cry fires
flames singed my soul

a burning fire
that flamed our night
no longer burns
and drifts from sight

but burning ever
with all time
is her memory
in our minds

— Seren, Mar 29, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Beyond the Black Stump..Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda, P.K.Page, W.H.Auden, to many and various to include them all ...

Critiques

Mandyboo

16 years 2 months ago

a flame in memory

i just wanted you to know that i liked your poem a lot, its very detailed and deep.please check out my poem, eternal love and let me kno what u think! mandyboo

Seren

16 years 2 months ago

Dear MandyBoo

So glad you enjoyed my poem will get round today and have a look at 'eternal love' kind regards Jayne-Chloe

judyanne

16 years 2 months ago

jc xxxxxx

beautiful laying in star-beds eating dust-pie I cry with you judd ((((((hug)))))))

Seren

16 years 2 months ago

Dear Judd

We both cry for her I am going to miss her love and hugs Jayne-Chloe

Silent_Rain

16 years 2 months ago

:)

This is a very pretty poem Seren!! fingers of thought stretching out tips graze the moon skin begins to turnout I love it!! ~Rain~ There is always a rainbow after the rain...

Seren

16 years 2 months ago

Dear Rain

Thanks for the read and the comment ... I loved those same lines myself lol love Jayne-Chloe

ziggy

16 years 2 months ago

hi

hi jayne , a lovely piece this wonderfully wrote and some fantastic words you have put together ,,,,zigs

Seren

16 years 2 months ago

Dear Ziggy

Thank you so much ... I do appreciate the visit love and hugs Jayne-Chloe x x

lyz

16 years 2 months ago

Oh Dear Enchantress

As always you deliver. This astral flighted memory, a flame or not, takes us on your journey with u. This one is superb, I enjoyed. Love that muse, lol. XX

Seren

16 years 2 months ago

Dear Lyz

Thanks for that huni ... this ones for a friend not forgotten love and hugs JayCee x x x

Geezer

16 years 2 months ago

A flame in memory...

Sounds like a requiem for a dear departed soul. I have one of my own. My granny, Gone since I was twelve, but still in my mind. Hig bugs, and lotta love,~ Gee

Seren

16 years 2 months ago

Dearest Gee

Departed soul yes but not from this earth just from Neopoet (hugs) thanks for the read Gee I appreciate it love and hugs Jayne-Chloe

magics02

16 years 2 months ago

Hello and did you write this with Xena in mind perhaps, just thought I would ask as I was thinking of it when I read it, Very good Jayne :( Mona xoxox Learn to live, learn to forgive. Life is too short.

Seren

16 years 2 months ago

Dear Mona

Since you asked yes it is for Rosina ... I am going to miss her I was so enjoying her poetry and I have no other way to contact her ... so into the ether this one flys love JayCee

pamela

16 years 2 months ago

teardrops

Dear S., So sad to say goodbye. I loved this write. P.

Seren

16 years 2 months ago

Dear P

thanks for the comment shes going to be missed love JayCee x x x

Seren

16 years 2 months ago

Dear Annie

Thanks for the comment she was a gentle spirit wasnt she love JayCee

loved

16 years 2 months ago

Excitingly Wonderful

What a love and life to words you bring as comes to Canada an early Spring LOVED

Seren

16 years 2 months ago

the snow would be

the snow would be melting and life coming back to you all loved enjoy your springtime thanks for the comment love Jaycee

sunscreen

16 years 2 months ago

Very good poem, very deep.

Very good poem, very deep. writing what you careful always come out spectacular :)

Seren

16 years 2 months ago

Dear Alex this one was for

Dear Alex this one was for Rosina shes a lovely woman and poet ... thanks for the read love and hugs Jayne-Chloe

sunscreen

16 years 2 months ago

Very good poem, very deep.

Very good poem, very deep. writing what you care for always come out spectacular :)

Seren

16 years 2 months ago

Dear Alex

thanks for the vote of confidence and your right when I care about something I seem to write it with my heart holding the pen ;) love and hugs JayCee x x x

Nordic cloud

16 years 2 months ago

I have put my finger in the pie.

Ann of Norway You got me giggling here Jayne! "mind inside out  I float the sky,  laying in star-beds  eating dust-pie" I love the inside out idea in fact I find many ideas here with too many flames- I don't know, this one seems more like good thoughts for another poem to me!! Lovely material. Love Ann.

Seren

16 years 2 months ago

Dear Ann

Thanks for the comment hun this is one I plan to work on so if you ahve any ideas throw them at me anytime love and big hugs JayCee x x x

Nordic cloud

16 years 2 months ago

You inspired this bit of jolly folly Jayne!

Ann of Norway The inside out and the outside in which way were we created? (evolved) was it from within or was it from without without a doubt not sideways or from the top or toe yet how can we know what is it we should know why ever should we know I don't really know. So given this conundrum we come into this world unfurled by tunnelled extrusion all of a piece, inclusion. Light strikes our eyes, we see what do we see the first the mother of our bearing 'tis she who gives us birth. Our senses slow develop enveloped in our homes and reach out touch each other in a crowd of human beings We learn to live be happy, sad we do our own thing well not that its always swell individually, collectively selected and rejected then in the end we bend right down and finish in the sand is it now we turn inside out or is it inside in, whatever way we look at it we cannot ever win. LOL I use your 'forkortelse' here Jaynecee what a load of codswallop what? Ann with love.

Seren

16 years 2 months ago

Dear Ann

you use my forkotelse(whatever that is LOL) anytime you like .... I loved your poem responce Ann it was wonderful sorry I missed it last night been a little busy this weekend ... you take care and I will be round later on and catch you then going to see if you posted anything shortly ... love to you and so good to have you back again there was a silence that is no filled with the northern light you cast love and big hugs JayCee x x

Nordic cloud

16 years 2 months ago

Forkortelse

Ann of Norway Fore-shortening of, I suppose is the translation eh Molly? I haven't used the LOL that is what I meant by a the krimping/ shrinking of the three words within the L.O.L. So now you know a Norwegian word, 'précis' in a way. Oh perhaps I had better dig for something to satisfy your curiosity or .....? I must see, I have so many things I SHOULD do, my French homework whew she gives us the "sobjonctif" What does she think a handful of old dames will make of that? But she's very thorough and patient with us and full of humour, so here's hoping some of it may sink in to my thick skull. I manage not too badly to express myself in English, but writing Norwegian and French make some bloomers that not even a Victorian General would wear, oh golly Spring craziness is in the air I had better sop before I blow a bomb!!!! I like being here better the the subjunctive, don't you Jayne? Ah wheel I'd betterrr get back to it then, I mustn't disappoint Monique too much must I;? she's not paid anything to do it either!!! Takk for det Jayne se you later love and a big hug from me, Ann