Snap shot of life

I like the theme of this poem and would really like to offer you some suggestions that I think would help you improve the poem, but I don't feel like I can. I saw you clicked 'I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back.' So I was gonna give you some suggestions, but then you also clicked 'Please do not critique mechanics. The inconsistencies in style are intentional, or correcting them is not important to me.' So I'm not sure if you want the raw truth, and my critique or if you would rather I didn't 'critique mechanics' or 'inconsistencies'. Please let me know, because I really want to offer my opinion on this poem ('cause I like it so far!!) I don't want to give you a critique and then find out that my suggestions have somehow offended you. Kelsey

spellchecks this one reads well. I love the ending of it!! LOve Magics02 Learn to live, learn to forgive. Life is too short.

First: for the poem over all: to help the flow I would recommend not capitalizing every first word of every line. Each new line doesn't always mean that it's a new thought or sentence so it doesn't need capitalizing (You wouldn't write A Regular sentence Like this Would you?). However, with poetry, you're not confined to perfect grammar. So if you wanted to, you could leave every first line lowercase. Usually, if you do it that way, you use all your correct punctuation to help the reader read the poem correctly. So, decide whether you want no capitals or just proper capitals. If you want proper capitals, you don't need to focus on punctuation that much, if you don't want to. But if you don't want proper capitals, focus more on punctuation. Does this make sense? You have to find a balance between the two so that a reader reads the poem smoothly. Everything else is gonna be short and to the point! Stanza two: cameras--> camera's or camera is Stanza four: Glum is an adjective, not a noun. You wouldn't have written 'darkened by angry' or 'lightened by happy', right? Happy, angry and glum are used to describe something, they can't possess anything or cause anything, but their noun forms (anger, happiness, gloom/sadness/misery) can! So glum--> gloom/sadness/misery Stanza six: ever lasting--> everlasting Stanza seven: shinning--> shining Stanza eight: Question is--> Question is: Let me know how I did on this, okay? If I can't get better at critiques then how am I supposed to help you, right? And don't hesitate to ask me questions or tell me to lighten up on stuff or to tell me to do more or throw all these ideas out the window if you just aren't feeling 'em! :) Kelsey