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K

Sawn and Gone

            
Cutting into the rain forest
are the loggers with heavy machinery
their powerful  saws
 rip   into the trees
tearing  them down                       
one by one
they fall to the ground
leaving behind just a stump
no longer  does the wildlife live here
their homes are gone
destroyed by man
for many years theses trees have stood
providing shelter and food for all
the rain forest was a haven  for the wild  life
but isn't anymore
 now all there is
is  emptiness
yet again
the balance of nature is  upset
man lives in a selfish world
whilst nature lives in harmony and peace


— karen, Mar 26, 2010

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Country/Region: GBR

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Critiques

weirdelf

weirdelf

16 years 2 months ago

A good statement

A small crit, in the last line whilst nature lives in harmony and peace whilst nature lived in harmony and peace [the past tense may add impact] A bigger one. The poem lacks poetic qualities, again for impact perhaps use some poetic devices (but not rhyme please) to help the flow. This has the double advantage of making a more effective read and enhancing its mnemonic effect. Cheers, Jess, “The political arena leaves one no alternative, one must either be a dunce or a rogue.” Emma Goldman