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Bonitaj
Bonitaj
Mar 25, 2010 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

DARK STAR


You pass bysurreptitiously unannounced.Your stealth draws energyfrom the surrounds.
Black Hole!         You birth sorrow,
suckling the breast of kindness
till all is soured.Usurping the brightest light,
till senses are dulled,
 defenses disempowered.         Your shadowy presencelurks in a hidden guise,it's beguiling temptationa roues, even to the wise.With silky smoothnessno edge of reasondare uncoverleaving no pure motive -for child or mother.  A cold calculated calmness penetrates the airyou were here among usI still feel you everywhere!Shards of  clear perceptionpierce my sight Protection can only comefrom God's given might! Remove mefrom this darkening dawnYour  presence here
has left all but the saved -
fearful and forlorn. 
 Beware!
 Lucifer lurks among us unannounced -he's the hardest to harness, the most difficultto trounce! BjR 25 March '10  
— Bonitaj, Mar 25, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Tip of Southern Africa, ZAF

Favorite Poets: Too many to narrow down, but briefly :, AUDEN, T.S. ELIOT, DICKENSON, RILKE, THOREAU, RUMI ... the list is endless. Am inspired by many, especially those that live lives of "quiet desperation, and go to the grave with a song still in them" (THoreau)

More from this author

Critiques

C

Clem

16 years 2 months ago

A Black Hole

A black hole – what a great metaphor for evil and you work it well. I have read Scott Peck and recognize the applications here. One suggestion: With the word “Evil” you go more literal. You didn’t need to.The metaphor was working well. IMHO you could have carried it through the whole poem.
Bonitaj

Bonitaj

16 years 2 months ago

Hello CLeM

Nice to have a new face stop by! I have re-worked the poem thank to your suggestion. Hope it reads more powerfully now! THanks Bonita j
Alice Ember

Alice Ember

16 years 2 months ago

loved it

it reminded me of a song that i love super massive black hole. Love the metaphor. I don't really know what else to say. Odi et Amo ( I love and I hate)
Bonitaj

Bonitaj

16 years 2 months ago

Dear Alice

Your comments are anything but odious! ;) Glad you liked it! Bonita j ps. Perhaps you could rate my stars now? Thanks again!
Seren

Seren

16 years 2 months ago

Boni

Read the revision and I liked Clems suggestion I think it really made a difference ... good work Neopoet ~! love and hugs Jayne-Chloe
Bonitaj

Bonitaj

16 years 2 months ago

One man's opinion

is what I always say - be it yours or his - it's still One man's opinion... Sorry Weirdelf - no offense. I just think one should be open to everything and shift through what works for you! CHeers Bonita j
M

magics02

16 years 2 months ago

Yes agreed and I love this one for sure

Great job Bonitaj and it read smoothly from top to bottom here. Kudos to you a nice job and nice works of yours all the time.\ Courageous one Love Magics02 xoxoxo
Bonitaj

Bonitaj

16 years 2 months ago

WHEN NIETSCHE WEPT!*

Ah Kal: have you never encountered a situation where the hair actually stands up on your back and you can't quite peg what it is that caused your revulsion from a given person/situation? That is what I am trying to capture here. This is no voodoo expose, but a real sense of encountering the dark side. I seriously believe there is that link with Narcissism and evil and all Peck has said to enlighten this, is that there is no sense of submission to the "greater good" or to ANYONE/ANYTHING else for the Narcissist/psychopath. Touche! Draw swords on that if you must ;) Boni *Title of a book by Irvin Yalom for those of you who know the adage - GOD IS DEAD - Nietsche/ NIETSCHE IS DEAD - GOD
C

Clem

16 years 2 months ago

You nailed it

All I can say is yes, yes, yes. You nailed it. I am a bit surprised at the criticisms of your subject matter. A poetry site is probably not a place to criticize someone's set of beliefs. Just go write a poem about your beliefs. Kudos!!!
M

magics02

16 years 2 months ago

Agreed upon

Clem you said it right in here with this statement of yours A poetry site is probably not a place to criticize someone’s set of beliefs. Just go write a poem about your beliefs. It is written in the guidelines but I think only for the most of all but not all of us. With Easter fast approaching I will be writing more on these lines for it is a glorious time of year for some. Others do not have to be so critical of one's beleifs for that is just why we still have wars going on. Religion and Land. Peace to you gentlemen Love, Mona Learn to live, learn to forgive. Life is too short.
Bonitaj

Bonitaj

16 years 2 months ago

Hey Jess

THank you for re-defining that! I think people are so quick to take umbridge when you step on their "religious" toes - that the backlash is often inappropriate. I totally respect your opinion on this author and that being said - it's enough! Cheers Boni
Bonitaj

Bonitaj

16 years 2 months ago

Ah Kal!

as I said - easier said than done! That's why he's so powerful-if one chooces to give him 'human characteristics'. How else would "he" being able to mess in people's lives if he didn't appear 'in the flesh'? lol To alter the words of a Joanne Armatrading song: "IS HE SO STRONG OR IS ALL THE WEAKNESS IN ME"? Boni ps this is not a fanatical evangelical stance btw, but a kind of anthropomorphic attempt to re-define evil for myself!
Seren

Seren

16 years 2 months ago

Boni

I been reading this debate with much interest ... I have No idea who the writer you are all debating about is but after reading your comments on his connecting Narcissism with evil ... "I seriously believe there is that link with Narcissism and evil and all Peck has said to enlighten this" now I have a question .. if Narcissism and Evil are connected ... in my mind thats saying certain people with mental illness is evil ... many many people have schizophrenia with Narcissistic leanings ... are these people evil ? Love JayCee
Bonitaj

Bonitaj

16 years 2 months ago

Chloe-Jayne! (to invert things a bit)

Thanks for your interest and comment. I think it is as Kal says - a little knowledge is a dangerous thing. I had no idea this slip of a write would encourage so much debate - but then it falls under the banner of THE BIG THREE (Sex, Drugs and Rock-n-Roll) lol. But seriously, here's the thing - all humans are flawed to a creater or lesser degree with a certain amount of Narcissism. In the good ol' days they simply refered to it as Egotism. What you have to differentiate is healthy EGOTISM from an unhealthy EGOTISM ( which begins to border on Narcissism!) Taken to the end of this same contiuum there is the full blown PSYCHOPATH (which in the new DSM-IV/V is referred to as ANTI-SOCIAL PERSONALITY DISORDER). With all the stigma around Mental Illness, people are afraid to even broach the subject matter let alone come out of the closet and expose which end of the continuum they are on ;) THanks for your interest - psychology is a fabulous subject and one I embrace minute by minute in different encounters throughout the day! Boni
Seren

Seren

16 years 2 months ago

Boni

Having Schizophrenia myself ... I am very interested in the subject lol and yes there is a fine line of healthy egotism and mental illness ... people wont find answers to their mental illnesses till all the political correctness gets the boot you can take a thing too far I believe thats were we are at with being PC Boni you always get the brain cells moving lol thanks for that love and hugs JayCee
Bonitaj

Bonitaj

16 years 2 months ago

cogently argued

and well said THeo! It's not for nothing you were given that name! But seriously, any given write allows one to dabble into so many different mediums - and naturally, one always draws from a pool of one's own collective knowledge. Whether you see this as an infringement on the reader's rights is again your point of view and as such, repectfully reviewed. I just love it when you come out ALL GUNS SMOKIN! and that you do it so eloquently! Boni
judyanne

judyanne

16 years 2 months ago

making my toes curl

excellent descriptive, love the last lines 'he’s the hardest to harness, the most difficult to trounce!' .......and the toughest to recognise !!! love judy
judyanne

judyanne

16 years 2 months ago

by the way

Been reading some comments I don’t think any poem needs to become the focus for a theological debate. It is what it – one viewpoint And as for the devil incarnate? I tell you, evil is manifest, tangible. just as love is. lol judy
Bonitaj

Bonitaj

16 years 2 months ago

Thanks Judy!

right on! all counts! I certainly agree with your closing line! Cheers Boni
themoonman

themoonman

16 years 2 months ago

Boni...

I read your poem and was surprised by the content, I wasn't surprised at the responses, although we are only supposed to comment on the poem, how could anyone be surprised at a theological debate among poets with so many different beliefs. The poem is good, and almost anytime a poem is controversial, it makes for a good read. thanks for posting Richard
ID

Ink Dragon

16 years 2 months ago

Dear Boni,

I read both the poem and the comments with great interest. I still remember how appalled my gran (a devout, even fanatical Christian) was when I told her I didn't believe in the devil. But I had some great theologist teachers who could explain about the concept of "sin" and "the devil" really well. "The devil" can be understood as our lower instincts (what Freud called ES), and we "sin" when we do something that our "conscience" (Freud: ÜberICH) deems "wrong", which results in estrangement from ourselves (and ultimately, from our personal god). I think I have already mentioned that book I have been reading, "Irre", in which the author, a psychologist and psychiatrist, states that we all have psychologic peculiarities, which don't necessarily result in mental illness. He defines mental illness as a situation in which you are handicapped by your psychologic peculiarities. Maybe "the devil" is such a peculiarity, and we all live with a "dark" side... To me, the poem would have read better (from my personal writer/reader perspective) without the references to God and Lucifer. But there were some great images, and I think everyone can relate to the feelings you describe. Yours, ~Nina
Bonitaj

Bonitaj

16 years 2 months ago

AH Nina!

How good it is to have your input once again, drawing from such a pool of insight and knowledge. I hear what you're saying about the omission of said "demons", but for one with a firm fundamentalist background - it's a case of 'tell it like it is' or at least we were told!! Thanks again Boni
Bonitaj

Bonitaj

16 years 1 month ago

HAD TO SHARE THIS LITTLE GEM!

In Spanish no less! ; A puerta cerrada, el diablo se vuelve. Translation To a closed door, the devil turns around. Bonita ole!