All I can think about.

All I can think about
Is the balloon inside my stomach
That blows up so unpredicatably
Before my eyes.
I know I can get through it by myself:
I always do.
But that doesn't make it easier
To feel control slipping away,
And know that what's coming next
Is going to hurt and make me cry.
The accidental feeling
Of a tiny roll of flesh
Can make my mind pause for minutes
Like it never could last year.
The littlest things,
I have learnt to question.
Why they said that
And why she missed lunch.
I have learned to imagine
That I'm not the only one.
That there may be somebody else.
I have learned that this fantasy
Will get me through.

— evie.haywood, Mar 25, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Critiques

Clem

16 years 2 months ago

This is a hard poem

I got a little scared but then I read back through all your poetry on Neo and realized that you are more in control than you fear you arn't. I felt like I had read a really fine poetry book when I finished. You are a really fine poet and a really good person. A key theme word, you used it in one of your poems: "Cope" is a challlenge to me.

evie.haywood

16 years 2 months ago

All I can really say on this

All I can really say on this is thankyou. To all of it. :) Writing is one of the very few things I'm really pationate about so it means alot that you like my work. Cope is really what got me through about half of last year so yes, I agree, it is featured in many of my poems. "A really good person". Honestly, that means more than anything so really thank you. And I'm aware it's a hard poem but, it stopped me from relapsing so, it can only be good. "i got a little scared" there is no need to be, I realise that from your perspective this makes me sound a little crazy and dangerous, I suppose, but really it is how I feel in the worst moments. And in the best, I've never felt better. :) (Might make this last bit into a poem actually. Lol) Evie