Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

A empty House is not A home

~~>>><<<Can you call a Empty House a Home>>
~~~Is a empty House  really a home?~~~>
~~~~>Where Do I Stand...
~~~Standing in a house that was my home...
~~~Standing in a house that was full of Love... a house full of people that did care at one time...
...not anymore...
~~~I still remember standing  on that porch,
~~~~ Talking to a Good old Friend......
~~~I still remember the happiness of my baby's as they play...
~~~It was a sad day when I, had to sell that House...
~~~Standing Still... here all a lone...
~~~ Walking from room to room in my head..
~~~(Does ,..it is southern sound...as in past thence)...Does I still Remember what you Said....?
~~~She said "this is the house I love' And we need and want"
but now she packed up and moved out taking our kids away...
~~~>Standing there I had nothing to Say...
~~~Can someone Tell me,
                       I Want to Know..
~~~Can you make a empty house into a home..
~~~Now my heart is as empty as that house...
~~~~ I am still walking from room to room...
~~~Does it Matter and just who cares anyway...
~~~How can you replace a home...?
~~~ That made  me feel safe..Inside....
~~~Where does the Homeless  go...?
~~~Homeless walk from place to Place...
~~~They are never happy ...
~~>Not staying in one place...very long...
~~~>They will roomed from place to place that they can not call home...
~~~>Only a family can make a happy home...
~~~>Its in there blood they must roam...
~~~The house does not make the homeless a home...
~~~>Like a dog with out a bone...
~~~>Like a camper without its Fire...
~~~I am Rolling... Like a Rolling Stone...
~~~Rolling down the mountain of Life...
~~~Do the birds of the Air  have a home?~~~
~~~Do they fly back in the Spring...
~~~Like the Humming Birds I see ever year....they come and disappear..
~~~do you think they really care...do they share...in there deep despair
~as the spring shower..rain at any hour..it does not Know what it will bring..
~~But it brings spring shower and  bring  spring flowers...
~~~When you Have a home,it's more then just a Place to be...
~~~>a home is?...
~~~> a place to see...a place you are welcome..
~~~>Welcome is where Love is...
~~~>A home is a place , that
you call Your place of shelter
  And where you feel safe...
~~~why does it hurt  so much to Move on?
~~~A Empty House  is  not a home...
~~~~~Sitting in a rocking chair all a lone...with despair
~~~You can not see,...but you can Hear  the Ghost sing...
~~~I can still hear your footsteps on the hardwood floors as they echo off the walls...
~~~Hearing your foot steps  of the Ghost  of that was You...
~~~When Love grows ...its like a Tree...
~~~~From a seed you see where A cherry tree grows...
~~~Did you see where its begins to Fade?
~~~The summer days sun shine like a  blade...~~~ It cuts both ways..
~~~When Love was Here We Have No Fear...
~~~All we have ...is Love ,right now and right here...
~~~I did not think  I would~~ ever move away...
~~~I Remember the snow on that cherry tree day..
~~~I still remember siting on the swing of  that front porch as sing,
~~~~ Talking to a good friend next door....
~~~I Still can see me playing with my 3 girls ...in A wagon as I pulled them around that house..
~~~It was a sad day when I had to sell that House...
~~~ Walking from room to room in my head..
~~~Does I still Remember what she Said....?
~~~> I no longer want this house...
~~~Can someone Tell me,
                       I Want to Know..
~~~Can you make a empty house in to A  home..
~~~Now my heart is as empty as that house...
~~~It is the place I once called Home...
 ~~~~ I am still walking from room to room...
And all my days I walk in a deep gloom..
~~~>the end<<<>>>03/21/2010>>><<<
— Skybones777, Mar 22, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

More from this author

Critiques

Seren

Seren

16 years 2 months ago

Dear Sky

This is a good first attempt and the rhythm and flow was coming and going for me ... to be honest I would give this an edit format wise its all over the place and hard to read ... but I love the theme and if the content was trimmed would make it tighter and the rhythm and flow would be much smoother kind regards Jayne-Chloe
franny50

franny50

16 years 2 months ago

I agree with Jayne-Chloe.The

I agree with Jayne-Chloe.The content is there.The rhythm and flow is a bit inconsistant,however,you portray your feelings about home poigantly and vividly!
weirdelf

weirdelf

16 years 2 months ago

Do the work, cleanit up

be generous to your reader. You can edit the poem just click edit under the title. Then will give it another read Cheers, Jess, Screw copyright, my poetry belongs to the world, no charge, property is theft. But an acknowledgment might be nice.
DawningDaytripper

DawningDaytripper

16 years 2 months ago

Well Skybones, I will always

Well Skybones, I will always encourge your first attempt, it says alot about your writing. I can see the time, care, thought in this. But I have to agree and say that the excessive punctuation was more distracting than anything. I have a feeling it may have supposed to have been apart of it. But I am just used to it looking so much more tidy read. I suggest loosing all of the ---- and redoing your breaks. Than all of that positive stuff I first mentioned, can be seen. And if this is a formatting or technical issue, let me know and I will try to help you work it out. Welcome to Neo, and don't let our thoughts on your formatt bring you down about the work, that is what work is right? Work. Julie
weirdelf

weirdelf

16 years 2 months ago

Try this, just suggestions

take them or leave them Can you call a Empty House a Home Is a empty House  really a home? Where Do I Stand… Standing in a house that was my home… Standing in a house that was full of Love… a house full of people that did care at one time… …not anymore… I still remember standing  on that porch, Talking to a Good old Friend…… I still remember the happiness of my baby’s as they play… It was a sad day when I, had to sell that House… Standing Still… here all a lone… Walking from room to room in my head.. (Does ,..it is southern sound…as in past thence)… Does I still Remember what you Said….? She said “this is the house I love’ And we need and want” but now she packed up and moved out taking our kids away… Standing there I had nothing to Say… Can someone Tell me, I Want to Know.. Can you make a empty house into a home.. Now my heart is as empty as that house… I am still walking from room to room… Does it Matter and just who cares anyway… How can you replace a home…? That made  me feel safe..Inside…. Where does the Homeless  go…? Homeless walk from place to Place… They are never happy … Not staying in one place…very long… They will roomed from place to place that they can not call home… Only a family can make a happy home… Its in there blood they must roam… The house does not make the homeless a home… Like a dog with out a bone… Like a camper without its Fire… I am Rolling… Like a Rolling Stone… Rolling down the mountain of Life… Do the birds of the Air  have a home? Do they fly back in the Spring… Like the Humming Birds I see ever year….they come and disappear.. do you think they really care…do they share…in there deep despair as the spring shower..rain at any hour..it does not Know what it will bring.. But it brings spring shower and  bring  spring flowers… When you Have a home,it’s more then just a Place to be… a home is?… a place to see…a place you are welcome.. Welcome is where Love is… A home is a place , that you call Your place of shelter   And where you feel safe… why does it hurt  so much to Move on? A Empty House  is  not a home… Sitting in a rocking chair all a lone…with despair You can not see,…but you can Hear  the Ghost sing… I can still hear your footsteps on the hardwood floors as they echo off the walls… Hearing your foot steps  of the Ghost  of that was You… When Love grows …its like a Tree… From a seed you see where A cherry tree grows… Did you see where its begins to Fade? The summer days sun shine like a  blade… It cuts both ways.. When Love was Here We Have No Fear… All we have …is Love ,right now and right here… I did not think  I would ever move away… I Remember the snow on that cherry tree day.. I still remember siting on the swing of  that front porch as sing, Talking to a good friend next door…. I Still can see me playing with my 3 girls …in A wagon as I pulled them around that house.. It was a sad day when I had to sell that House… Walking from room to room in my head.. Does I still Remember what she Said….? I no longer want this house… Can someone Tell me, I Want to Know.. Can you make a empty house in to A  home.. Now my heart is as empty as that house… It is the place I once called Home…   I am still walking from room to room… And all my days I walk in a deep gloom.. the end 03/21/2010 Cheers, Jess, “The political arena leaves one no alternative, one must either be a dunce or a rogue.” Emma Goldman
Electric Blue

Electric Blue

16 years 2 months ago

Empty house

Skybones welcome Oh do I know that an empty house is not a home. I am there, all i have are walls not a home. Only me they listen but they do not talk back. Memories are all i have. Room to room I do go but there is nothing left there. I wander through the time portals of memories and feel a glimpse of something that once was. Electric Blue
P

Pitbull

16 years 2 months ago

Sweet Man

Thats Awsome Did U Think Of That Urself?? MmChWaA Make Some Noise Pitbull ( Mr.305 )
artygirl87

artygirl87

16 years 2 months ago

We all keep the

We all keep the memories...an empty home is a base...a building block...the question is whether on can refill it and make it a home again? Make it whole again? Not a bad first effort. Looking forward to reading more as you post them.
Candlewitch

Candlewitch

16 years 2 months ago

Hello

IMHO, you should answer your comments. It is the polite and mannerly thing to do. After all, your readers took the time to leave you comments and in some cases, very lengthy and well thought out suggestions. Just another suggestion. I hope I have been of help to you. Always, Cat
loved

loved

16 years 2 months ago

home and house

a house can be a home but also all houses aren't homes . but an empty house can't be a home nr can it be empty if ur within try this comment for a distraught girl left w/o a home and house how she'd feel In the solitude of a forgotten love We reside oblivious of darkened silence. Tell that friend, She got his in At her behest No man can ever do With-out a yes from you All men are not bastards They want a go Then they let you go. So I also know of a woman, Where her soldier hubby Is looking after their infant As a single mommy and poppy Put together. Now don't cry Either have an abortion Or take the bold step Let the new one, Take his first earthly step. loved