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Thirteen Gods (with a second version for critique)

Thirteen Gods formed the world
They worked and worked to make it all
Twelve of them were well aquainted,

but one stood all alone

The centuries went by with man arising
To hold dominion upon the earth
The twelve watched over them
and cared for them in their way

but one still stood alone

They decided they should get to know him
So planned and thought and decided
They would invite him to dinner
Much to their regret, he accepted

The thirteenth God was Death!
__________________________________

In the beginning were
thirteen Gods
That worked to create the world
Twelve of them were well aquainted,

but one stood all       alone.

Centuries went by and man arose
To hold dominion on the earth
Twelve Gods watched over them
Caring for them in their special way,

but one still stood             alone.

Faith, Hope and Charity
Called upon War, Pestillence and Greed
Who talked to Envy, Peace and Prosperity
Who visited Love, Hate and Pride

They decided they should get to know
The God who never visited.
So they planned and they thought
Finally, invited him to dinner.

Much to their regret, he accepted
After their dinner party.
The Gods were pensive
For much had been learned.

Filled with much unease
They went about the land,
There to see with their own eyes
The reason he stood           alone

Soon they came to realize
He was both feared and needed
And man both prayed for and cursed
The name of the lonesome one

The thirteenth God was Death
— Rett, Mar 21, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Southern Texas, USA

Favorite Poets: Dickenson, Longfellow

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More from this author

Critiques

xena465

xena465

16 years 2 months ago

Gosh! That packed a punch at

Gosh! That packed a punch at the end. I love reading poems that are different to the norm that are posted, including my own. Rosina xena465
Rett

Rett

16 years 2 months ago

Thanks Xena

I appreciate it. I tend to experiment a lot. *L* Respectfully, Rett: “Anyone who sacrifices liberty for security deserves neither.” Benjamin Franklin
L

lyz

16 years 2 months ago

Firstly

Love the new pic and 3rd stanza, spell check, missing an n out of planned. Now, wow. Got me. A twist and funny, I felt a twinge in the gut when I read that last line. Read soft then bam. A pleasure. Love Lyz. XX
Rett

Rett

16 years 2 months ago

Thanks Lyz.

I will repair said spelling error poste haste. *L* Glad you liked it. Respectfully, Rett: “Anyone who sacrifices liberty for security deserves neither.” Benjamin Franklin
L

lyz

16 years 2 months ago

P.S

Is your pic a book written by you, if so, can I get it here or is it just a clever pic, lol. love the title anyway, lol. Lyz. XX
Rett

Rett

16 years 2 months ago

It is my Novel Cover

Go to my profile and you will find it with a link to where it can be bought right now. Later on it will be at Amazon. It was inspired by a chat here one night where I was asked to write a poem about what you see out your car window. It evolved into a novel. A short one. *LOL* I am in the process of writing another one. Respectfully, Rett: “Anyone who sacrifices liberty for security deserves neither.” Benjamin Franklin
M

magics02

16 years 2 months ago

Great poem Rett

and just appropriate for this time of year. Thank you for this profound write Mr Rett. Love, Maics02 xoxoxox
Rett

Rett

16 years 2 months ago

Thanks Magics!

Glad you liked it. I appreciate it. Respectfully, Rett: “Anyone who sacrifices liberty for security deserves neither.” Benjamin Franklin
Seren

Seren

16 years 2 months ago

Dear Rett

Sorry to swear but I fucking love this one ... that thirteenth God should never have been invited to the table wonderful poem I think its my new favourite of yours Love Jayne-Chloe x
Rett

Rett

16 years 2 months ago

Wow, Thank you!

I truly appreciate it Jayne! Respectfully, Rett: “Anyone who sacrifices liberty for security deserves neither.” Benjamin Franklin
Seren

Seren

16 years 2 months ago

Rett I love it when people

Rett I love it when people create their own tails and this one is one of the best I have read here, sorry I didnt leave a longer message before I was in a hurry to get down town before the butcher shut lol ... seriously its one of the best mythical 'god' poems I have read and you gave me a fresh idea though not about gods ... love JayCee x x
Rett

Rett

16 years 2 months ago

Ahh, (I like to hear that

Anything that gives someone an idea is a success. *G* This was actually inspired by a line in an old Western I was watching. Respectfully, Rett: “Anyone who sacrifices liberty for security deserves neither.” Benjamin Franklin
Rett

Rett

16 years 2 months ago

*LOL* thanks Kal

I was wondering if anyone would like the ending. a bit different for me. The salmon tasted funny. Respectfully, Rett: “Anyone who sacrifices liberty for security deserves neither.” Benjamin Franklin
whitetea

whitetea

16 years 2 months ago

>

Fatal dinner parties for the win!
Rett

Rett

16 years 2 months ago

*LOL*

It's a wrap. Respectfully, Rett: “Anyone who sacrifices liberty for security deserves neither.” Benjamin Franklin
Rett

Rett

16 years 2 months ago

*chuckle*

We got to blame someone. Glad you liked the punch line. Thank you. Respectfully, Rett: “Anyone who sacrifices liberty for security deserves neither.” Benjamin Franklin
DawningDaytripper

DawningDaytripper

16 years 2 months ago

Well I am tell you the

Well I am tell you the ending was not what I am used to, not that I wouldn't use. But when you do, seems lacking. Which of coarse gives me something to think about, like if I will go for the easy ending anymore. The story is complete, but it is my beleif you could expand it, how did the 12 realize the 13 th was death finaly, never noticing before? Just some thoughts Paw, I know I am late to the game. Busy busy, as you know best. Look forward to the next! Julie D.D.
Beauregard

Beauregard

16 years 2 months ago

I don't know

what mythology you got this from but I like it! Also, since you said it was an experiment I feel much better in saying that I don't think it reaches your usual caliber of writing. OMG THAT MEANS I GET TO CRITIQUE RETT! Stanza 1: In the beginning--> shame on you Rett! You just snatched a cliche right out of the Bible! What would Jesus think? lol Stanza 5 (if you count the lone lines as stanzas): They decided they should get to know him--> They decided to get to know him So planned and thought and decided--> you've already said 'decided' once so how about "So plans were made that very night" (if you want to maintain the same syllable number) or something like that? Stanza 6: Death--> So what if he's Death? Gods are immortal! Show me why that mattered to the Gods! I wanna see that dinner! hehe Gee that felt weird. Having suggestions for Rett is like telling Gandhi that he wasn't being peaceful enough. Kelsey
Rett

Rett

16 years 2 months ago

Julie, Kelsey

Thank you both for the wonderful critique. I've been working on it. That is what I love about this place. Wonderful critique. *S* ((hugs)) to both of you. Respectfully, Rett: “Anyone who sacrifices liberty for security deserves neither.” Benjamin Franklin
Rett

Rett

16 years 2 months ago

Happy Easter Mona

Thank you. Respectfully, Rett: “Anyone who sacrifices liberty for security deserves neither.” Benjamin Franklin
Rett

Rett

16 years 2 months ago

Indi, thanks you

I corrected the wisited. *LOL* I also believe you were correct in the redundancy, so corrected that also. I appreciate it sir. Respectfully, Rett: “Anyone who sacrifices liberty for security deserves neither.” Benjamin Franklin
Rett

Rett

16 years 2 months ago

*LOL* That's what I get

For typing it in direct instead of my normal way. Thanks Indi. Respectfully, Rett: “Anyone who sacrifices liberty for security deserves neither.” Benjamin Franklin
Beauregard

Beauregard

16 years 2 months ago

I love the update Rett!

See I can't win for losing! I have to give you feedback and then I get knocked off my feet! Sheesh! ;) Kelsey
Rett

Rett

16 years 2 months ago

Hey, it's your fault

along with Julie. You two weren't satisfied. *LOL* So I thought I'd try to make it better using your thoughts. *G* Thanks for the great, honest critique. Respectfully, Rett: “Anyone who sacrifices liberty for security deserves neither.” Benjamin Franklin
Rett

Rett

16 years 2 months ago

Thanks Mona and Rosina

I appreciate it. Glad both worked. Respectfully, Rett: “Anyone who sacrifices liberty for security deserves neither.” Benjamin Franklin