prayer

"to unlatch me from this sorrow" WHAT A BRILLIANT LINE for closure! Boy this poem knocked the socks off me!! Well done Koki! I like your stuff and your style - in no particular order! Bonita j

writing! Bravo! Love, Light and Laughter to All Beings Namaste, Lenny

Just a wonderful piece and will be back to visit you again. Wording was great and thought pattern great. A breath of fresh air so to speak Magics02

A friend of yours messaged me and alerted me to this poem ... its very good I love that last line but I would tighten the format up a little bring the stanza's closer together the only thing I would critique on this one I could not sleep held up in insecurity my core- molten and wanting sought You out I could not sleep choking on air grasped and regurgitated with burning acuity I could not sleep bereft of control, cold toes and tight yearning, pinned to the night by the idea of sleep, nipple points stabbing the air with each exhalation I still look away when You touch me: irreconcilable differences between my ego and id all the times we exchanged blood-riddled kisses and picked fallen pinecones hand in hand had not prepared me for that moment, when naked and consumed by hedonistic reasoning I still needed you to unlatch me from this sorrow. and those last two lines I would separate to give them the impact they deserve kind regards Jayne-Chloe

simply superb loved it bravo ,,,,,,,,,,,,ziggy

No critique... just praise, loved this as it made my heart do flips while reading... thanks! At first thought, the title seemed off, but no, I like that too! Richard

I am no poet To comment But your poem is God sent It has a scent Has a scent Has a scent Of the favoured perfumes Heaven sent I dared to comment It’s a song to my ears So I dared to say Hope you shall spare me My tears. loved by one and all

I find your tender of this subject to be accurate and meaningful. I take it from your capital Y in You, that you are beseeching some higher spiritual power. But, if that's the case, what is your explanation of these verses: all the times we exchanged blood-riddled kisses I like Jayne's treatment of the line breaks. My favorite line: to unlatch me from this sorrow. A very good description of how prayer works. Well written. Thanks, Lisa

Followed your footprints to this piece after commenting on my piece UNSHAKEN. I am a big fun of this poem.You did it with a touch of eclat. sinnbadd