...if you can't, should you?

My Hungarian Mother would say things like:

“Ha nem tudod valami szép nem mond akármi egyáltalán.”*

Mothers say such things to teach their children to
be kind and get along in a world where
kindness is hardly ever reciprocated, it’s the way
of things being what they are.
Children learn that words hurt as much as sticks and stones.
Children are battered with words.
Children are good healers.

But I’m all grown-up now and I live in a world
where reality shows are cable news, twenty-four
hours a day, filling in the blanks and the new norm
is a spokesperson
who can read body language for the court of popular
opinion.

“Look at her, see how she leans…
Blinks…”

(I wonder can they see the inside?)

Sometime I’m scared to death of things I didn’t say,
Niceties I uttered with clenched hands and
crooked smiles, ready to jump out of my skin;
I’m just an angry woman sometimes.

Lie to me.
Say I‘m nice,
before its too late.