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CS
club special
Mar 17, 2010 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

The Good Life

The man, he strives for
Greater depths

The demon sighs
And counts his steps

The mortal coil
Slips from debt and wine

The demon laughs
And cracks his spine

His eye awakens
Within eternal sleep

The demon dozes
Upon dirty sheets
— club special, Mar 17, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: Colorado

Favorite Poets: William Blake, Poe, Yeats, Crowley

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Critiques

Seren

Seren

16 years 2 months ago

Dear Club Special

I believe your title needs some sizzle like the poem .... your poems brilliant kind regards Jayne-Chloe
CS

club special

16 years 2 months ago

Thanx for you kind review, I

Thanx for you kind review, I usually don't name my poems. "The Good Life" was created tonite (the title) and was meant as blunt sarcasm... It could be improved I'm sure but once the poem is done I get lazy.
D

Dalton

15 years 11 months ago

first of all great poem,

first of all great poem, however I might change the use of the word "Upon" simply to "On dirty sheets" its less cumbersome in the flow. only a tiny crit, and maybe i should not have said anything at all. otherwise great poem, john