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CS
club special
Mar 15, 2010 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Lunar

The moon flat and mouldering
Through the black dusty trees
Is both
Hidden and unveiled

Its sulfurous gleem
A gem upon twilights ring finger

Casts its ceaseless grasp
On the shining beach
Above the cowering tide

As time languors
At the foot of cobwebs
Between the glowing grass
— club special, Mar 15, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: Colorado

Favorite Poets: William Blake, Poe, Yeats, Crowley

More from this author

Critiques

Ladderwords

Ladderwords

16 years 2 months ago

I find myself asking, why is

I find myself asking, why is the tide cowering? Would it not be moving into grasp at the "shining beach"? After all, the tide rolls in with a full moon.
CS

club special

16 years 2 months ago

You either like the poem or

You either like the poem or you dont, It's called a play on words, and tides go in and out . If you cant make the connection between "cowering" and going out, as in the tide, you can't see the woods for the tree...
Ladderwords

Ladderwords

16 years 2 months ago

Who limits themselves to

Who limits themselves to either liking or disliking a poem? It is all about the exploration. If you can't deal with the exploration, perhaps you should change your review settings to "no criticism".
CS

club special

16 years 2 months ago

You are right my friend. I

You are right my friend. I can deal with your 'criticim", which is spelled wrong, I think, I welcome your comments and I will put my stuff against your stuff anytime...
Ladderwords

Ladderwords

16 years 2 months ago

It is spelled wrong your

It is spelled wrong your way. Instead of putting your work against mine, in some poetic tete a tete, how about using the community for what it is for, helping each other become better poets. Poets are really good at tearing one another down in the attempt to establish themselves as the supreme overlord of verse. What is the point of that when our main readership is other poets ... talk about alienating your audience.
CS

club special

16 years 2 months ago

You are completey right and

You are completely right and i am wrong. I am here for others other than myself. I am very grateful for this site run by poets rather than some money making machine. I over stepped my bounds and truly welcome your comments...
DawningDaytripper

DawningDaytripper

16 years 2 months ago

Ah yes workshop, I am glad

Ah yes workshop, I am glad neither of you ended up really mad. I did the same thing the first time someone gave me thier opinion. I to had have some one break the news to me that was why I was here. All good. I think that you had a great 2nd post and look forward to reading more. Julie D.D.
CS

club special

16 years 2 months ago

Thanks, I was surprized

Thanks, I was surprized about that reaction I had, but Its all good, next post wednesday night. I got a million of em--
Seren

Seren

16 years 2 months ago

I had read this yesterday

I had read this yesterday and now I am back to offer some critique but after reading I am not sure what you call moderate critique lol sooo will wait for your answer and see how much help is needed(or wanted) lol hahah smiles good to see you guys sorted it out like adults ... I am smiling moons here hope is afloat on the breeze ;) lol love Jayne-Chloe
Seren

Seren

16 years 2 months ago

Dear Brian

Somtimes not often a poem can generate another poem from one of the other poets well this is my take on your poem its not suggestions for you edit its just night is my great love to write about and this one ? I loved the thoughts woven through it I have added my poem that sprung from this write My poem A mouldering flat moon gazes between the dust of black trees a sulfurous gleem the gem on nights finger reaching with ceaseless abandon to a shimmering beach above the easing of tides time is reposed around the feet of cobweds twix the glowering in the grass hope you didnt mind we often bounce off one another here lol love Jayne-Chloe
R

raskin

16 years 2 months ago

Interesting, the words you

Interesting, the words you use go between light and dark. Your third stanza I take to mean the withdrawing water. When the tide starts to turn to low tide or is in the transition period the beach gleams. Sometimes it depends on the composition of the sand how much light is reflected back by the moon. I really like your description of the moon in this. As time langours, I like this image with the cobwebs. Gives me a feeling of stillness. raskin
CS

club special

16 years 2 months ago

That is exactly what I was

That is exactly what I was trying to convey, as the tide or wave pulls back, the beach is wet and gleems in the light of the moon. Now I know this poem works.. Thanks.