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M

Scrutiny

Rippin' up the track
like I'm on a dirt bike feelin' so glad

Or usin' my third eye to bust on a back
after I thrust - no shy, no guy, no lie

It's a must that I get by livin' happily
I cuse when any family deals with autrocity

It's a monopoly in the way this dust spreads so rapidly

I dread the myserery I see optically

even mentally before bed I've said
"I can' take this end!"

Layin' I pretend I've been sent far away
to a place
with no reverends - just gettin' laid everyday

and "spade" by smokin' some hay
Chillin' by the bay, similar to Sandler gettin' paid

Won't kill anything with antlers, or raid

I get enraged when seein' pussies
getin down on thier knees
and shoot a livin' species

Still, I've never been to a rave
But, have done some ecstacy

Still, I behave
But, have done some bad things

But you see, these things, don't define me

I only smoke fine weed
it helps me think

so I don't go crazy
in this homosapien society

I'm lazy
unlike the Arabian salt farmers be

Still somehow I make money, unlike anyone would beleive

what's the realtion between luck,
life,
and interdependecy?

stars are struck with luck
as all gleaming life
given' the opportunity

With extreme scrutiny
I investigate tragedies

So let me through your gates
and listen to my poetry

It's my mission
to get through your cerebral stupidity

an idiocracy held by most human beings
— mdehe, Mar 15, 2010

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Critiques

weirdelf

weirdelf

16 years 2 months ago

Matty, I like your poetry more and more.

You have content, style and wordcrafting. A couple of things I want to crit. autrocity atrocity [spelling] I only smoke fine weed it helps me think that is a fucking illusion. Sure to smoke pot to try it expands the mind, but please beware dependence. to get through your cerebral stupidity [that is just insulting to your reader, give them a chance to think. See my poem "Half the people we meet are less than average." http://www.neopoet.com/node/36449 Cheers, Jess, “The political arena leaves one no alternative, one must either be a dunce or a rogue.” Emma Goldman
M

mdehe

16 years 2 months ago

hey man

im glad youre startin ot like my shit better. ive been writin poetry a year or two now and feel im finally gettin into my own stride. and yea i shoud probs hit up spell check but most the time i jsut write em without the thought of it haha. smoking weed for some ya can be a big problem. but for same can help (evening smoking 10 times a day). and yea man iliekd your poem. i know im insulting the reader i na way. but im tyring to insult jsut some of them - not all haha. if that makes it any better. yo man wanna throw me some comment on the new poem i added. i like i wanna c what others think n no one else will ocment on my shit reall yahha
weirdelf

weirdelf

16 years 2 months ago

oh! insult the reader! It's fun!

Just make sure you mean to! tehe Cheers, Jess, “The political arena leaves one no alternative, one must either be a dunce or a rogue.” Emma Goldman