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E
evie.haywood
Mar 13, 2010 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Behind My Smile

Behind My Smile
There is a lifetime of fear.
Of dreaming and wishing
That one day he would near.

That my Knight in shinning armour
would come, rescue me
Like he did for rapunzel
And the Princess with the pea.

Behind my smile
I am scared of alone.
I have been played and ruined
But stood galent and bold.

In front of their eyes
I will rise and not fall.
I will tell my story
For me and for all.
— evie.haywood, Mar 13, 2010

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yenti

yenti

16 years 2 months ago

Evie

This is a piece which shows us a part of you that is usually hidden, just be a little careful on the flow of things, as you said be not afraid, read, talk and learn from others, the fact that you have a lifetime is great and to start at this time to be really serious in what you write, is wonderful. There is a world out there, then another world within your mind, then on it goes in the minds of others you can borrow their minds eye. The words you use and the flow is for you to decide. On the fourth line you use one twice, "That one day one would near" there are several things you can write to avoid this, like:- One day he would draw near....then on to your Knight, or other words, these things will be habit one day. I use note pad to put a poem on to edit and just go down each line and make changes as I go, but I have the advantage of the years, Yours Ian.T