alight alliteration

Fantastic! Fun to say outloud. Nice work Jayne. raskin

Wow thats wonderful! How did you do?

orsm slides right off my tongue love hubby xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

but, excuse me if i'm wrong, doesn't alliteration mean that every word in the line starts with the same letter? so, for example, 'darts to dazzle the dark' could possibly read 'darts, dazzling dark' my literary knowledge is very rusty, so i probably am mistaken. love the poem anyway. lol judd

Hi Jaughter, I never enter contests, all I ever got is a lousy t-shirt that reads of Salmon Rushdie*: "A poet's work:to name the unnameable, to point at frauds, to take sides, start arguments, shape the world, & stop it going to sleep." For me this is enough. Tho I sure wouldn't mind an antique fountain pen. Love, Mum *an actual t-shirt from Neopoet when I first joined... let's make it available for all the NEOS, K, AEC, Andrew? "A poem is never finished, only abandoned." ~ Paul Valery

Loved it!

Ann of Norway Mine doesn't quite fit the bill I think either judyanne.- Cheep said the sparrow cheep cheep cheep cheep so cheeky he is as he hops by the door bathes in a puddle, nests by the spout of the drainpipes top is everywhere here there and there, we wouldn't dare to compare his devotion, emotion, commotion personified, brown and black, no colour that, yet blending so well with the bush there he is, here he is, all over Europe ever the one with the voice at dawn, there when we're born, there when were dead there forever in our hearts as I've said? Cheep cheep, cheep cheep, cheep cheep, cheep cheep. My answer to you dear Jayne, now I see why there are so many sparrow poems was beginning to wonder!!! Love to you Ann

Good luck hun. I enjoyed it. Written well and out of my league, lol. Lyz. XX

I know nought about it. Good luck anyway. Lyz. XX Im off in a mo. Love all.

Ann of Norway Just having fun still!!!! I C why C you C me C, you C, see? Because my name begins with C see, like a Sparrow in the tree C is not a Chaffinch that's a C see. I am brown and live in the town C, that my cries drown in the noise C, He sings louder in the wood I would do so if I could, He has pinks and blacks and whites among his garb so fine and bright, mine is humble just like me C, that is why I C, you C me C nigh see? C, do you? Ann with love.

Jayne, I missed your initial request that I review this to make certain it fit the rules of the March contest, my apologies for that. It does indeed fit the rules and to answer a few questions about alliteration. 1) An alliterative statement can take many forms, the most basic of which is a single repetition of a vowel or consonant sound. 2) This repetition is often separated by a single syllable such as "languishing, the lions prowled on pious dreams" As for the poem itself, I enjoyed it but have, as is my wont, a couple of suggestions, these are [bracketed] below -------------------- 01 a sacred sparrow 02 hovers over the sage, 03 she flutters a feather 04 [gifting] a page 05 the alliteration lights 06 with a spiral of sparks, 07 and the quickening quill 08 darts to dazzle the dark 09 worlds of wonder 10 sing through my mind, 11 and building a bastion 12 with mosaic designs 13 I now leave lines 14 of crumbs and seed, 15 praying the sparrow 16 comes back to feed 17 light on the language[,] 18 with a little chagrin, 19 I unfurl this page 20 to a wintering wind. ------------------- Line 04 stumbles a bit for me and I believe "gifting" conveys your intent in a smoother way. With line 17 and 18 I have a little stumble so I am suggesting creating a pause at the end of 17 and dropping the "and" at the beginning of 18 which creates a feeling of intimacy, as if you are sharing a a bit of personal information with the reader. Of course you, as the author, must decide the validity of any and all suggestions. --Jonathan Annoying the world, one person at a time (Group discounts available)