ziggy

Mar 11, 2010 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

sparrow sparrow

Familiar brown flutter by
cheerful cherub chant and
chirp, fluff your feathers on
the ledge then swooping down
to the fallow earth that's brown .

Nesting in those lofty rafters
feeding on forgotten afters
instinct in your hollow bones
noted cadence those pleasant tones .

Stubby beaks and puffed out cheeks
cavorting in the shaded leafs , follow
the sun migrating back finding a mate
procreating those light blue eggs together
made .

Laid in the softest shelter mothered well
till time breaks that life giving shell familiar
brown flutter by .

— ziggy, Mar 11, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: IRL

Critiques

pamela

16 years 3 months ago

birds of a feather

Dear Z., I really love it. P.

magics02

16 years 2 months ago

Flock together

Just had to comment on pamela's comment good going Ziggy and I better get my giggy going on this sparrow write soon so I can fly into the contest tweet tweet. Love magics02 Learn to live, learn to forgive. Life is too short.

ziggy

16 years 2 months ago

hi

lol get your giggy going so and i will read and comment thanks for the read ,ziggy

ziggy

16 years 2 months ago

buddy

hi there , thank you , i don`t always start a write with a theme in mind but i did enjoy how it came together . as i how know more on sparrows than i did lol ,,,,,,,,ziggy

ziggy

16 years 2 months ago

hello

hello there again i hope all is well for you and yours since we have spoke before i normally write a few lines before i get the theme but given one as i was with this is different for me but good for the head , ah i made the sparrows proud thank you ,,,,,,always ,,,,,,,ziggy

seabhac

16 years 2 months ago

Hi Ziggy

Just a quick visit from me but immediatly 2 things jumped out at me noted candance through those ( no need to use those and it reads better without) pleasant tones. read this again follow the sun migrating back to where you began finding a mate procreating Ziggy this is way too long and makes my mouthtumble over the 'began finding +...reassemble the words to flow better I do love the first verse and it just needs tweaked to bring up to the same standard as the first. I seem to remember reading a sparrow poem by Kal at one stage..hmm must take a look at that too. Spring is hitting you chirp chirp Seabhac

seabhac

16 years 2 months ago

I like the update Ziggy It

I like the update Ziggy It reads a lot better Seabhac

ziggy

16 years 2 months ago

hi

i must thank you for your previous comment i made them changes based on your comment and it does help , i don`t know if it shows but i put alot of time into this one more than normal thanks again and cheers for returning to this one ,,,,,,zigy x

Candlewitch

16 years 2 months ago

Dear Ziggy

A most enchanting poem. My favorite lines are: Familiar brown flutter by cheerful cherub chant and chirp, fluff your feathers on the ledge then swooping down to the fallow earth thats brown. Always, Cat

ziggy

16 years 2 months ago

hi cat

hello my friend cheers cat i do love the way you tell which lines you like , i had to do a bit of research on sparrows lol and this is my efford thanx for your continued comments on my effords ,,,,,,,,ziggy

Seren

16 years 2 months ago

Dear Ziggy

the sparrows are swarming this month and I love the work you've done on this one well done Liz ~! good luck in the competition love Jayne-Chloe x x x

ziggy

16 years 2 months ago

hi jayne

cheers, i made a real efford for this one and i now know more about sparrows than i did lol cheers,,,,,,,,ziggy

Seren

16 years 2 months ago

Dear Ziggy I just read this

Dear Ziggy I just read this again Is candance meant to me cadance and is frogotten meant to be forgotten second stanza ... ??? just thought I better check as I know they judge spelling etc just a thought maybe I am wrong lol love Jayne-Chloe

ziggy

16 years 2 months ago

hi

mmmmm big oops typo`s galore cheers jayne fixed now thank you xx ,,,,ziggy

magics02

16 years 2 months ago

I also love this sparrow poem

Ziggy your so giggy and I love this softened poem of sparrows. Good luck in the contest too!! Love Magics02 Learn to live, learn to forgive. Life is too short.

ziggy

16 years 2 months ago

well hello

again thank you for the return ,yes the contest lol i won`t hold my breath , lol its another theme to write on if nothing else cheers giggy,,,,,,,,hey where is your pic ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,?

magics02

16 years 2 months ago

i TRIED TO GET IT ON HERE

oops sorry for caps my little chap..lol I am working on getting a pic of me self on here and hope they don't spare darts at it for then they dash a foot upon a stone. Lol just in a rare mood this morning and thank you ziggy and it looks like you are on a radio station of sorts. loving this am Ms Mona

lyz

16 years 2 months ago

Dear Enda

Sparrowingly well done. Great to see a lighthearted good read today. Yes I am always late, hey. But better late than never. Good luck on the comp. Great read my friend. Love to all. Lyz. XX

ziggy

16 years 2 months ago

hi

ahhhhh lyz lol " sparrowingly " your always welcome on my page lyz xx ,,,,,,,,,,,ziggy thanx ,,,,,,,,

Hooded Stranger

16 years 1 month ago

Zigs

Zigs, only you can capture the image and feelings connected with such a small and rather boring bird. I shall never look upon them with the same eyes again. This is brilliant - did you win the contest? HS ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth and yet nobody sees me".

ziggy

16 years 1 month ago

hi dan

cheers dan what a comment nice one lol "did i win the contest" lol mmmmmm how can i answer that ah ya ,did i fec cheers dan ,,,,,,ziggy