Seren

Mar 10, 2010 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

one more minute

I would walk till my shoes
filled with the dirt of ages
I would travel the road of perdition
for one more minute with you

Reaching into my chest
I would rip out my soul
hand it to the devil himself
to take whats left

(my souls battered and worn
but still a devil wanted it)

having sold my soul
for a song and a prayer
I regained it
(even the Devil can be tricked)
second hand goods
are always diminished

shabby

I have nothing
but blessings
I have nothing
but love
I have nothing
but forgiveness

so in fact I have everything
making all realities nothing

I would still sell all that
all the every-things
and nothings

for one more minute with you

— Seren, Mar 10, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Beyond the Black Stump..Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda, P.K.Page, W.H.Auden, to many and various to include them all ...

Critiques

Kailashana

16 years 3 months ago

All we ever get is one

All we ever get is one moment... one ever lasting moment with *You*. Love, the *I* that ever forms this moment of *WE*.... "A poem is never finished, only abandoned." ~ Paul Valery

Seren

16 years 3 months ago

Thanks for your words mum

Thanks for your words mum this one was one of those I had not been sure whether to post to be honest its old as the hills and reworked... this used to be rhyme lol love and hugs Jayne-Chloe x x x x

Bonitaj

16 years 3 months ago

what you won't do

for love... Powerful stuff Jayne! Sounds like another "Woman's Ashram" ;) Nice write!

Seren

16 years 3 months ago

Nothing and everything is

Nothing and everything is what I would do for love Boni ... thanks for the kind words lovely good to see you around love and hugs Jayne-Chloe x x x

Candlewitch

16 years 3 months ago

It sounds like you have the purest of love. My favorite lines are: I have nothing but blessings I have nothing but love I have nothing but forgiveness so in fact I have everything and making all realities nothing Love, Cat

Seren

16 years 3 months ago

Dearest Cat

Thanks for your words the stanza you liked was in the old poem and I decided to leave them there with a couple of tweaks to unrhyme them lol ... or is it derhyming not sure btw I think my whole emails are infected I have not been getting any emails from Neopoet or friends ... opneing a new account today to see if that will fix the problem love and hugs Jayne-Chloe x x x

Seren

16 years 3 months ago

Dear Ephkins thank you

Dear Ephkins thank you ~~~Bow~~~ Love JayCee x x x x

Geezer

16 years 3 months ago

Love is...

Always wanting more. There is nothing that I wouldn't do, for one more moment with you. Anyone who has ever been in love, can relate to your words, but you say them so eloquently. Higgest bugs, and lotta love, ~ Gee

Seren

16 years 3 months ago

This was one for someone I

This was one for someone I wasnt 'in' love with but loved deeply ... never forgot them and this was just expressing my missing them ... its a very old poem this one Gee it started its life as a ryhmer and morphed into blank verse thanks for your lovely comment my friend it is much appreciated love and higgliest bugs Jayne-Chloe x x x

Wafi

16 years 3 months ago

This Is So Great, Dear Jayne!

This is so great, Dear Jayne! Your heart reflects the light of love and longing, in this write... Loved these lines; "I would walk till my shoes filled with the dirt of ages I would travel the road of perdition for one more minute with you" How great you are, Jayne! Lucky is the one you love!! Sincerely, Wafi "Culture, location and beliefs; All vanish with love!" ~Afzal Shauq~

Seren

16 years 3 months ago

Dear Wafi

Thank you so much for your kind comment it is much appreciated this is an old one ... reworked into blank verse ... psssst I am the lucky one dear Wafi love and hugs Jayne-Chloe x x x x

Ink Dragon

16 years 3 months ago

Dearest Jayne,

what a tear jerker this one is! Forgive me, but I have to remark on the title (look who's talking, the woman who still hasn't titled her latest). It is longish and a tad obscure. How about "I have nothing" or "One more minute"? love&hugs Yours, ~Nina

Seren

16 years 3 months ago

Dearest Nina

lol.. i didnt know what to call this one so I stuck that title on and thought to change it later ... its funny this one makes me feel not sad but .... cannot say exactly lol ... like your suggestions when I sit down for an edit in the next little bit i will have a think on both those cause I like them both ... love and hugs Jayne-Chloe x x x x

xena465

16 years 3 months ago

For me Jayne this is the

For me Jayne this is the best one I've read. I could read the flow with ease and I felt humble. I too really like the stanza Wafi pointed out. Brilliant... deserves a nominate. Rosina xena465

Seren

16 years 3 months ago

Dear Rosina

Thank you so much for your lovely comment ... this one used to be rhyme and I morphed it into blank verse sometimes the feel isnt write for rhyme thank you for your kind words and you are always welcome on my page dear lady love and hugs Jayne-Chloe x x x

judyanne

16 years 3 months ago

what can i say?

you've said it all. beautiful my friend love judd xxxx

Seren

16 years 3 months ago

Thanks heaps Judd glad you

Thanks heaps Judd glad you liked it hun ... just an old one revamped love and big hugs Jayne-Chloe x x x

seabhac

16 years 3 months ago

Hi Jayne

I do the first stanza / verse, what ever but I get a little confused with the part I would rip out my soul and hand it to the devil himself to take whats left ( what's left after the soul has gone? ) having sold my soul for a song and a prayer I regained it ( How do you get the devil to give back a soul) but second hand goods we always are diminished shabby O.k. I am playing Devils advocate here ha ha but there is a break here and it just doesn't tie together for me After that is great just this bit ...sorry maybe it is just me but something is sticking there for me... Big hugs Seabhac

Seren

16 years 3 months ago

Dear Seabhac

Thanks for your honesty I havent finished this one its still in need of a couple more edits ... some of these are fully edited and some get posted to see what others say I get both the pointe you've made ... and I think I maybe just have to rewrite this one ... now that you've pointed those two points out thanks for the great critique hun I appreciate it love Jayne-Chloe x x

Seren

16 years 2 months ago

Dear Lyz(Seabhac)

have done an edit let me know if those to patches I ahve devised work or not thanks for the help love Jayne-Chloe

jim

16 years 2 months ago

Hi Jayne

I wouldn't say you have nothing cause you have a lot of talent. Fantastic write. Jim

Seren

16 years 2 months ago

Dear Jim

I havent been writing blank verse very long and its not easy to master ... thank you for your wonderful comment I do appreciate it much love Jayne-Chloe x x x

Bonitaj

16 years 2 months ago

second readings

bring a tear to my eye - in that such love/intense emotions as this - are normally not bilateral! As such it is wasted on the one it is written for. It is not lost on other poets though ; Boni

Seren

16 years 2 months ago

Dear Boni

thanks for the second read did a couple of tweaks ... sometimes it doesnt matter how intense the emotion ... it isnt returned ... and in this case ... it cant be push past the veils and they are gone love and hugs Jayne-Chloe x x x