if I am forgotten .. Wendy read me a story

just hugs my darlin love hubby xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Oh this is beautiful Jayne. So very very beautiful. Love, Mum p.s. some typos... "A poem is never finished, only abandoned." ~ Paul Valery

a touching poem the last few lines strike very much. shan

we become secrets in the memory of few whispers our names 'huddled in linen castles' an intimate detail, one that is universal.. yet sacred to a fraterity/sority. In ink, Boxless

A beautfully touching poem. You did a great job. p.

Ann of Norway Forget-me-nots and daffodils this friend in the distant blue of the sky, is he still there or no, we do not know. This poem has the pathos of loss and the sad memory of remembering that comes in moments and haunts us still. You make us feel your loss too dear Jayne. "I am walking to forget you another part of me"................I like this very much. "once I was within the a breath of life".............did you mean to write THEE ? My love to you and you continue to surprise us with new ways of describing life. Ann.

you so deserve it. luv judd xxxxx

The use of language,images and colours in this piece of work is superb.I really like it.

How could you be forgotten in any way, there are people that walk even on your Walkabout that have a presence in the company of others and you are so. I am going to lay another lawn, as the little footprints that keep walking up and down have left many questions of how she feels each day. Sometimes they are light and carefree others they ar heavy and planted with fear, I will build you a special place where the vision of being at peace is there to coat your soul, the laughter of the children to make you smile, flowers and trees to please you and keep away the blazing sun, the walk that will need no shoes, the essence of the humming bird to let you fly with ease, you take care of you, Yours Ian.T

This poem is very good JC, but I don't see anything about a spoon :P Hahaha J/k Good luck with your poems :)

Great poem.I really don't know what to say about itto describe half of what it made me feel. Love, Alice Odi et Amo ( I love and I hate)

Brilliant Jayne. Your pen always sends us on a journey that compels there to be no end. Just love it. Rosina xena465

As usual, your poem reaches out across time and distance and touches all who read its words. Love, Cat

i found this an extremely emotive read... in fact, it disturbed me. disturbed, because i keep getting the sense of a child abandoned by its mother...and the pain the child would feel, just tears at the guts. i re-read it a number of times to see if i got anything different from it...and i didn't. whatever it may be about, and as much as it disturbed, i also found it so delicately beautiful. it's as if fragile, gossamer-fine emotions are on view...the writer knows they may be blown to pieces...but has to put them out there, nonetheless. "Anzac and incense my sense of you, whenever the terror of night grips me, thoughts wander to safer times sleeping back to back with you" i can't tell you how much this stanza affected me...it made my throat ache. "I am walking to forget you"...i have line envy an extraordinary poem, jc...with the perfect ending.

Your sensitivity and self honesty are imparting to your poetry an awesome presence of power.I am so glad you are developing your gift to such an extent. You get better and better. Love B

Very good. I liked it more every time I re-read it, and after reading the reviews and comments. Is this about a mother who has Alzheimer's? But if that's true, she'd never be able to figure out that the poem is about her. There are certainly clues that point to a mother. But there are also clues that point to a childhood friend. Or a lover. So that part of the poem, the mystery, is well done. As for the structure, I liked it very much as well. It has a nice flow, tells the story, and I think devices such as rhyming, alliteration, etc would have detracted from the mood and the message, so this freeform was well chosen. Thanks for sharing.