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J
jim
Mar 04, 2010 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

she

She pushed the door.
Her hand
i saw it tremble.

Her smile was sore.
He said
he never meant to.

Her eyes we're raw.
Her head dropped
to her hands.

I stood in the doorway.
Unable to approach you.
Fixed to the spot.

I knew
i couldn't reach you.



— jim, Mar 04, 2010

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J

jim

16 years 3 months ago

hi

hi Rosina im glad u liked it. Im new to writeing an your comments an encouragement mean a lot. thanks jim
xena465

xena465

16 years 3 months ago

I know how you feel. I only

I know how you feel. I only joined in January and I've made many good friends like you will too. Rosina xena465
J

jim

16 years 3 months ago

The thing is that iv got so

The thing is that iv got so much in my head.I need a place to put it all. I write 3 to 4 poems a day.Thats why i joined. Jim
Ross Hamilton Hill

Ross Hamilton Hill

16 years 3 months ago

hi Jim

neat piece, liked the rhythm and the rhymes although 'saw' instead or sore? was that a typo or deliberate. The second last verse breaks the rhythm but that's your choice, shall check out some of your other poems kind regards Ross
J

jim

16 years 3 months ago

hi ross

thanks for your comment.I know i lost the rythm a bit,but im glad u liked it. Oh an yes saw was ment to be spelled sore.Thanks for picking that up for me. Jim
J

jim

16 years 3 months ago

thanks Evie

thanks for your kind comment.Im glad u liked it. Jim
J

jim

16 years 3 months ago

thanks

When i wrote this poem i didnt think it mysterious but im glad u liked it thanks for your comment. Jim