goddess

mortal female deity,
i imagine
guitar strings urgently
whispering
whispering
whispering
a secrete and
forbidden tale
with each trickle
of time
that is lost

woman god,
bathed in shadows
sighs
warm breath
and matt monroe's voice
covetousness weaves
intricate tapestries
in the
warm soft wet
corners
of my dreams
of your
hair
neck
finger
and all the other
agonisingly
beautiful
forbidden
pieces
of your
make

…lasting remnants
your scent
snatches of thought
help me defy
the dying of this preoccupation

— kowque, Mar 01, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: ZAF

Critiques

Candlewitch

16 years 3 months ago

hello

This is lovely, the yearning... I like the style and flow of your writing. Always, Cat

kowque

16 years 3 months ago

thank you

i must say-you are very generous with your compliments....i wrote this a long time ago and when i read it now it seems very clumsy and juvenile but im glad u liked it though, thank you 4your words kokz

Bonitaj

16 years 3 months ago

Hey, hey, hey KOKI!

Nothing juvenile about this is in the least! Boy, if this is innocence - beware experience ;) It is a spectacular write, but from you I expect no less. The one line I'm finding a little clumsy is perhaps "pieces of your make" (is that Making? Maker?) doesn't quite hang together... also the double entendre of sent /scent? What you think dear poet? Cheers Boni

Bonitaj

16 years 3 months ago

Another look at it!

mortal deity, i imagine guitar strings urgently whispering whispering whispering a secret and forbidden tale with each trickle of time that is lost man/god, bathed in shadows sighs warm breath and melodious voice, covetousness weaves intricate tapestries in the warm soft wet corners of my dreams - of your hair neck fingers and all the other agonisingly beautiful forbidden pieces of your making …lasting remnants of your memory - snatches of thought help me defy the dying of this obsession. Koki! Couple of changes - particularly re-gendering it - so that it can apply to the opposite sex. (oops - you can see my proclivity for the MALE gender!) That then requires a change in title! See what you think! Ta Boni

kowque

16 years 3 months ago

hey,thank for going through

hey,thank for going through it that was definitely a typo :)...it was meant to be scent make-as in form/model/sort/type i also happen to prefer guys,but this particular poem was written for an actual goddess :) i swear if you saw her your preference for the "MALE gender", as you put it,would change a little too ((*chuckle*)) oh,why get rid of matt manroe's voice?most of my poems are inspired by his songs :) the word obsession fits better(though a little strong)...i like your version better thank you kokie

magics02

16 years 3 months ago

Kokie

Glad to have stopped by and was intriqued by this write, I like it and will visit you again, nice job here. Poetess magics02 Learn to live, learn to forgive. Life is too short.