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A modest try

Upon opening my  book of rhymes i am

puzzled by new revelations

is the process best described as wordsmithing

or excruciating surgery on the mental plane? sundry times i have

found

that the jargon flows pleasantly enough when inspiration penetrates the heart

and liquifies the calcinated, redundant thought-trains

which rush to and fro or

fixate on points in time and space it could be

compared to being at the dance when you spy that beauty which

appears in flashes of lightning and a

newborn's smile

she is alone in her interlocking, gyroscoping, absolute

splendor as you look across eons and see

her

by herself manifesting the gods' mumblings and their effortless

perfection

all

in dance

then you speak to your heart i would like to join that

aesthetic pleasure as i see

it displayed amidst the commoners here i too would love to

flow as my soul dictates

and throws my physicality into tremors of ectasy
as the crowd gathers

and cheers and jeers as i lose myself
and glimpse the
higher
goal
as i become it all with aid
of the beauty
i was once apprehensive of circumscribing
with my latin-derived chatter

as i hope and pray that you can see her

as i have felt her
as i hope
to
live
her

— Shango007, Mar 01, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: USA

More from this author

Critiques

Seren

Seren

16 years 3 months ago

Dear Shango

Welcome to Neopoet ~!... this is a wonderful first post, freeform and blank verse are some of my favourites but I also write rhyme,and was my first form till I came here ,throughly enjoyed the read I thought it could do with one or two small tweaks but being a first post I think it rude lol just my opinion ... next time I will get the editors pen out ,Promise that being if theres anything to edit mind you lol Kind regards Jayne-Chloe
Geezer

Geezer

16 years 3 months ago

Modest try...

I read your other post first, and think that this one was the better. Not that the other one wasn't good, I just related to this one better. Maybe if you look at your line breaks in the other one, you can see some room for improvment. keep posting! I look forward to more from you, Geezer
M

magics02

16 years 3 months ago

welcome to neopoet

Would love to read more, keep writing as time allows and look forward to seeing you in here. Truly great write, magics02 xoxooxo "Determination Brings Success"
IP

Ian The Poet

16 years 3 months ago

I really enjoyed that, a

I really enjoyed that, a wonderful write. All the best Ian.