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Ummmmmmmmmmm. Deliriously wonderful poem. Yes. I drank the water. ~A "If parents really would love their children there would no longer be any war." J. Krishnamurti

You know I read this one and I seen it also. How are you lady? Hope all is fine by you and miss seeing you in chat room. Love Magics02 "Determination Brings Success"

Superb write ... bloody brilliant if you ask me ... and I also drank the water ;) Love and hugs Jayne-Chloe

Nice work, Whitetea. Interesting conceit. This is one of those poems that builds tension by staying controlled, and that falls apart for me in the final stanza. Tone and imagery work well together until then. Delete some of the third stanza and play with those elements as you find your title. I might have the man leave his suitcases behind. Language could be tightened a little here and there, and punctuation is inconsistent. More inline: [del] {add} ***comment I will make him visit my own country and grant a limited visa{.}***nice opening*** He will arrive, his life [down to] {in} two black [sturdy] suitcases[,]{.} [h]{H}e will call home at night and never drink the local water{.}***building the poem's world, good*** He will stutter through the language [and] {caught in the folds of}its lengthy curtain.***needs rephrasing to make the connection, this is one example*** [He will w]{W}ander about irritated[,]{.} [t]{T}he locals will [have]{flaunt} curiously savage habits and only dark holidays. He will glow ***add line break***shortly after [being released frantic to take his]{taking} flight [back home] and watch [only] from the safety of the window{.} [and be finally freed from those bloodless heathens, their godless dance]

"his life, sturdy suitcases of black.." "he will stutter through the curtian cloth of language" I like your writing This use of words intriguing I sort words too like numbers people and memory demarcation just an example of my views of your great poem Esker

you don't mess around... questions: will he won't he can he take it down? or will a holy man avoid the gritty real if he can? is he afraid to feel? and will he even try to leap the Void, and dip his perfect hands into the unclean and the unemployed? mikey