Feline Manipulation

Opie wants the heater on
Eight-ball wants it off,
I offered up a "timer"
but, they both just sat and scoffed;

I must say, that I must admit
I expected not much less,
it's a feline arbitrators' life
and I live under, duress.

Opie worries what's for dinner
Eight-ball hope it's just on-time,
had I offended both of them
I'd be guilty of the highest crime !

Yesterday, I changed their potty
to litter shaped like a pellet,
they started going in the hall
'twas my girlfriend, to hear them tell it !

I offer up this testament
for no reason, in my mind;
except, but to keep this knowledge
to myself, would be unkind.

Every town's got a cat-lady
or someone from the pound,
who has more stray animals
than anyone else, around.

That's exactly what I'm on, about !
That's when it's gone, too far !
Feline's are running the mansion
while the owner sleeps in the car !

Often, this strange phenomenon
occurs after a cat litter,
that's probably the reason, "why"
most kitten owners, are bitter !

The "window" is minute, at best
these cats will take over your house,
you'll feed them, groom them, and clean their mess
while you're treated like some "mouse"!

All your good intentions
will subtly be ignored,
just like the smell in their own litter-box
is quietly absorbed.

We humans must unite against
all feline psychologists,
we're the ones with opposable thumbs,
we're the ones who can make a fist !

Let's just keep things on the Q-t
play along with their feline laws,
and when it's time to expose these cats
we'll make sure we've trimmed all their claws !