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Alice Ember
Alice Ember
Feb 23, 2010 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

He's my hell

The moon plays across my window
Rain pounding against the house
My tears falling onto my floor
Sobs shake my bed, quiet as a mouse

Your laughing eyes haunt me in the night
The words you used to break my heart
Still ringing through my mind, this can't be right
Four words was all it took, I never loved you

Those words sent me to my hell
My heart burst into a thousand parts
I exploded into unforgiving flames
Dying, you killed my heart

I stumble around numb and blind
Crying out in the sheer pain of your betrayal
I've never felt such horrrible pain of this kind
I give up, I can't fight anymore. I'm done. I'm gone 

I'm not going far. just to hell
I'll be back when your touch is burnt off my skin
You haven't won, you never will
Put the phone down, no need for my next of kin

I may not have any fight left in me
That doesn't mean I'll lie down and take this
I'm going to hell but, your already there
I get to leave, but your stuck there forever

So welcome to our hell
My hell is me without you
Yours is going to put you in a padded cell
My hell's short lived yours is for forever

You didn't know it
But, you traded your heaven for your hell
It's almost laughable but I feel sorry for you
You didn't know, that by breaking me, you broke too  
— Alice Ember, Feb 23, 2010

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B

broken_skye

16 years 3 months ago

Wow

Very nice I have a poem like tis it is called "Dad." check it out if you want.
Alice Ember

Alice Ember

16 years 3 months ago

Thanks

Thanks that was really nice of you to say. Your poems are great by the way. Very heart felt. Alice
arja

arja

16 years 3 months ago

..really heartbreaking! :(

..really heartbreaking! :( there's so much pain in here... Just a few correction and suggestion: 3rd to the last line: "Crying out in the shear pain of your betral" -"betral", could it be "betrayal"? 2nd to the last line: "..pain in this kind" TRY: "of" instead of "in".. (but its still yours to decide) :) ..write on! but I do hope you get over this guy soon, since I do believe he does not deserve someone like you..meanwhile do write more about this pain specially when it relieves you of it.. ;)
Alice Ember

Alice Ember

16 years 3 months ago

Thanks

You all keep giving me help and I really like it. Thanks for all the help and I'll work on the poem. And thanks for the advice I'll work on it. Love, Alice
Alice Ember

Alice Ember

16 years 3 months ago

yeah

I'll fix it later my computer keeps freezing.
Alice Ember

Alice Ember

16 years 3 months ago

Thanks

Thanks for all the help. I like all the help you guys are giving me. I don't mind being critized its what I came on here for. I can't get any better if i never listen to my elders. of course that never seems to come in mind when I fight with my teachers or parents. But, you guys I don't mind have tell me what to do and fix. I actually apprciate it. Love, Alice
seabhac

seabhac

16 years 3 months ago

Enjoyed this

A great write, lots of emotion. Ending a little flat for the vibrancy of the rest of the poem. I'm done, I'm gone...suicide or have you just caught the bus and run away? I think its a great poem and worth working on the ending Seabhac
Alice Ember

Alice Ember

16 years 3 months ago

Thanks

Thanks for the advice I'll work on that right now. Talk to you soon I think anyways. Love, Alice
Candlewitch

Candlewitch

16 years 3 months ago

hello

A good piece of writing on a tender subject. I agree with the corrections and have none to add of my own. Writing is a great way of getting your feelings out and starting to heal. Always, Cat
Alice Ember

Alice Ember

16 years 3 months ago

Thanks

Thanks guys I fixed the poem and no I'm pretty much in on piece. A couple of tiny pieces are missing but, they'llbturn up eventually.
Alice Ember

Alice Ember

16 years 3 months ago

okay

okay cool I'll see what I can do. Love, Alice
Alice Ember

Alice Ember

16 years 2 months ago

Thanks

Glad to see that people are still readying my poems from way back. Love, Alice Carrying your own battle scars is a sign of your own strength. Carrying others battle scars is a sign of your very soul.