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DEEP DARK DOWN

DEEP DARK DOWN


 

How deep, how dark,

how down,

when loved ones frown at us,

a moment only;

that moment stonily grave

it sears the threads, 

they fray,

 

the wind grows cold

trees sway,

and when the mornings light

brings back the smile of sun,

your heart again is won,

and life is just begun, 

anew;

 

so few those murky skies 

casting dew 

on sward and plain,

the swooping dive of buzzard's 

great wide wings go past,

goaded through blizzards strong,

when really there was nothing wrong.

 


— Nordic cloud, Feb 23, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Oslo and Flatdal, Norway., NOR

Favorite Poets: Too daunting this.

More from this author

Critiques

J

J.Thomas

16 years 3 months ago

This comes together so

This comes together so wonderfully. So often when we see a plain look on our peers faces we think we must have done something wrong when really there just wasn't a particulary exciting thought cooking. over-analyzation strikes again!
S

sha_onarainyday

16 years 3 months ago

I love the imagery here.

I love the imagery here. The morning sun accompanied by a new smile, the buzzard sweeping across the plain. This poem makes me think how deeply are our moods connected with our surrounds? with the weather or time of day, with the look on a loved ones face? So much of what we say to one another is body language. I do think that maybe the 3rd and 2nd stanzas could be inverted so that the darker imagery turns into a kind of lighter sunnier toward the end. thanks, sha
O

Orphani

16 years 3 months ago

What makes this one of your

What makes this one of your best though, the imagery is superbly exquisite, is not entirely that, but the flow, meter, and the casual way you chose to weave the rhyme into the verse. This one stays aloft on a thermal of its own creation. Remarkable! B
Seren

Seren

16 years 3 months ago

my Dearest Ann

You plunge me and roll me in the depths of you everytime dear one ... this one? is one of your best I offer nothing but salutations love and biggest hugs Jayne-Chloe x x x
xena465

xena465

16 years 3 months ago

Dear Ann always thinking of

Dear Ann always thinking of others and writing from the heart. Rosina xena465
Bonitaj

Bonitaj

16 years 3 months ago

wow Ann!

This really touched me! Beautiful glimpse of how anyone who has ever, even momentarily been scorned, felt! THank you! Boni
Nordic cloud

Nordic cloud

16 years 3 months ago

Thank you all, thank you.

Ann of Norway Oh sweet kind friends all of you, you understand my poems so well and can tell there lies another understanding behind them, lived, experienced and sadly told, in some cases quite old, in others new, but its always painful to realise how wrong one was, and has maybe even lived with these taints without sorting them out to see into their meanings, they can suddenly become so banal when the partner has thought they were so serious and desperate. Like a mouse escaping the buzzard's plunge here. I know for years and years and years some have been influenced by a LOOK on one of their family members faces, he quite unaware of the impact his look had on them, their lives never reconciled, so sad a mistake. Making my theory that schools should have social behaviour as the first subject on the curriculum, not maths and geography etc. but empathy and understanding of each other in life, not because any gods dictate it; here the Bible has some good parables, but because we wish to thrive and live a joyful happy life with our fellow men/women. Would that not change society for the better? There might not be so many disputes between nations either. Here in Neopoets we keep a pretty good equilibrium, empathising with each other well I feel, only occasionally do people step over the line of simple understanding, and we as poets are a sensitive race, painting our souls out for others to peruse, its a delicate balance That keeps us afloat on the sea of words we use, sometimes saying things that teach others to look again, its all in the perception of life, and most people, judging by my painting classes for adults in the 1960's don't even SEE what they are looking at!!!!
M

magics02

16 years 3 months ago

Bravo my snow lady

It is just wonderful and that's all I can say. Moves me like the birds love magics02 xx0x0x0 "Determination Brings Success"
whitetea

whitetea

16 years 3 months ago

It is very true, when a

It is very true, when a loved one feels let down by me its difficult for me to explain how it makes me feel but it can be hard and very sad. You did well with this one.