DawningDaytripper

Feb 21, 2010 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

World of glass

Crystal moments in
a sand sized universe
alkaline elements of
an eco system of self

Imploding

I need not stand on this cliff
shattered

I passed you the doubt
losing my way back to me
walking blindly
a prisim for my main focus

Steping up to the precipice
I blink

Shards of opaque affliction
spur me closer
spinning my head with the wind
my shield tinted with color

If I remembered yesterday
what tomorrow held
today would be clearer
as my future might set me free

A breath of reason released

Call for me

I will answer

Julie

D.D.

2/21/2010

— DawningDaytripper, Feb 21, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Robe valley, WA, USA

Favorite Poets: All of them, for differant reasons. Neopoet poets have influenced me the most over the last 2 plus years. Great teachers. Edgar Allen Poe, Dickens, way to many to list...

Critiques

magics02

16 years 3 months ago

Just splendid

I really like this one dawn and hope all is going good for you and the family. I passed you the doubt losing my way back to me. Profound write dear lady. magics02 "Determination Brings Success"

DawningDaytripper

16 years 3 months ago

Thank you dear Magic, I

Thank you dear Magic, I appreaciate the read. As for how profound.. I can only hope it makes sense to some one besides myself. Thanks again, Julie D.D.

xena465

16 years 3 months ago

Yes I think I

Yes I think I understand...yesterday is gone...take in today and relish, and tomorrow will be a better day. Rosina xena465

DawningDaytripper

16 years 3 months ago

Yes i suppose your summation

Yes i suppose your summation works to Rosina. This is how I would have said it. Potatoe/pototoe If I had spent more time yesterday, concerned with tommorrow, today would be clearer. And then we could assume tommorrow would be clearer. Also sand shard clear. Glass theme going on. Easier. I tend to reflect and write from what I know. Which like many is not squeaky clean. I have made my mistakes. This is not about me nessesaraly. But I did write it so does reflect me well. To me first person poetry is a more personal of approach's. Thanks for the read Rosina. Julie

Seren

16 years 3 months ago

Dear Julie

Really loved this write but I thought 'a sand sized micro universe' was too much ... maybe a micro universe ? (micro) in my opinion says extremely small doesnt need the sand reference ... and this is just my opinion,I will think on it and come back to this one kind regards Jayne-Chloe

DawningDaytripper

16 years 3 months ago

Good thinking Jayne, but I

Good thinking Jayne, but I think I shall x nay micro and keep sand. Glass theme, sand, shard, clear. But good catch, I meant to expand, but it ended up wasting. For shame on me. Thanks for the read and drop in again soon my dear, I shall return the favor. Julie D.D. Oh you have inspired an furtheration of my thinking thanks!

Geezer

16 years 3 months ago

World of Glass...

I agree with Jayne's statement about the use of the word sand, but other than that... WOW! My favorite verse was; If I remembered yesterday what tomorrow held today would be clearer Your title was great. Great job, all the way around! Made me think of a quote I heard or read somewhere. "There is no tomorrow, because when it gets here, it is today, and when it gets past, it is yesterday." Love ya, ~ Gee

DawningDaytripper

16 years 3 months ago

I agree with her to Gee.

I agree with her to Gee. Well almost, close enough that I can agree with you to. And thank you very much kind sir, your such a loved and treasured friend. I think that is a good quote, but can't say that I am familiar with it. Julie D.D.

judyanne

16 years 3 months ago

‘Crystal moments in a

'Crystal moments in a sand sized universe... an eco system of self' We don't really even have the 'now', for once we reach to grasp it, it is gone. Beautiful Julie xx Judy

DawningDaytripper

16 years 3 months ago

So true Judy, thanks for

So true Judy, thanks for reading and being so kind. Julie D.D.

Ink Dragon

16 years 3 months ago

Dear Julie,

I'm on a mission to return all the kind comments I got over the last weeks. Your title drew me in on this one, World of glass, melikey! You have some gorgeous lines here, these were my fav ones: If I remembered yesterday what tomorrow held today would be clearer as my future might set me free Your use of glass imagery is what sustains this piece, very well done! A couple of spelling issues I would like to point out: prisim -> prism; Steping -> Stepping Yours, ~Nina

DawningDaytripper

16 years 3 months ago

Thanks Nina, that was silly

Thanks Nina, that was silly mispellings. I am trying not to use spellcheck, I do, but not as much. Those were additions and changes so although I ran it through before posting to save my friends from them, I didn't spell check my edit. For shame on me. I will try harder. Thank you very much, and what ever reason I can get you on my page. I will be estatic with. Your the bestest. Julie D.D.