Not the Rain

I think it's great. Adding a bit more of your feelings about how the past memories of them would make this much stronger...strong as it is...it demands more. Rosina xena465

Really loved this one but the ending was not as strong as I thought it could be and when its least expected I feel sick to find their scraps in unexpected corners. Just had a small tweak of it just ideas for how I thought it could be improved but thats just my opinion others my not agree wait for more comments lol kind regards love Jayne-Chloe x x

firstly, when we write with the heart, nothing else matter...........we can tweak here and there..........but this is great.......your poem is great.

I find your poetry takes me (my own personal tastes are such) to areas that are more non polished when I do go out in nature I like to go where just the animals may tread the paths are luxuries built of ease and speed or interest but its what I feel or see when Im not on the main thoroughfare some of the great photographers of their day took either the splendour or the intensely gritty when I travelled it was great to see the vast green vistas and stunning ocean surf and it was equally powerful to see the wild untamed shames that spoke of lives that others know or knew I like the last line when Morrison sang poetry in his songs at his time he did not just sing of happy things but of the concurrent distatesfullness of change which is there and yet like being caught in the cold or snowstorm or having the life memories return they are the visage of impact that some poets muster forth with worth I always have said that your poetry to me is an inspiration Thank You

may bring a bit more logic to that line, it faintly seems. Where you talk about being alive and quotes images of my parents came to mind. Now I think of those who left impressions on me and I think of teachers. Teachers not good who in fact I learned from and from time to time from the corners of my mind a trigger brings them to mind. Like the wind in from moving along the road (passing memories on the road)... I also thought Japanese at first and looked at the syllables. It took two readings to really enjoy this poem, Whit.. which means nothing except I'm a slow digester. Mark "I do not walk the earth and eat out of dumpsters, I'm not a bum, I'm beat."

I don't know why, the spacing and the minimal words for this poem makes me think of some of the Japanese or Chinese forms of poetry. (Obviously not the haiku, heh.) It's the progression, I think, from nature, to human sensation, to something personal to the poem's persona. But although I don't know how to describe it, this one keeps sticking in my head - in a good way.

Perfectly said. I do agree with Seren though - I get the feeling that finding the scraps is not the end of the story. Really beautiful work.

Great job white tea!! magicso2 "Determination Brings Success"

Always refreshing for me to read one of your writes. The only suggestion I would make on this one is this... I have been tangled between... the narrative seems to be off in that verse, perhaps... I was tangled between a few people a long time ago... for me it puts it in the past more clearly, just a suggestion though. Now, as far as content... I loved it, and have often found myself with traits I don't like from others... I believe we naturally connect with others and carry parts away with us, especially when we are younger. great poem Richard

very good creativity nice work loved