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Off the cuff

I am the wind
I am the curtain opening
on the brain in the vat
the pale sunset
failing today
but the mountain still beautiful
as it often can be
accentuated by the nets
catching golf balls in the air
and the pylons
and antennas
like minarets
silent to the unspeakable truth
of needing to be more
productive but
wondering what
layers of salt
could possibly
make anything better
heal the translucent sea
rearrange
the angry smiles
the ravaged lips
the disorientated faces
like some painting
of Picasso
bereft of inspiration
in the dull unerring
hum of what is surely coming.

— Heading South, Feb 20, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: JPN

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Critiques

Roscoe Lane

Roscoe Lane

16 years 3 months ago

i like it,

I like it, and i think i relate, so many things we have could change to make life better. But because things have been done a certain way for so long, we accept them even though they might be harmfull or ugly. Hope i'm right. Regards Roscoe....
Roscoe Lane

Roscoe Lane

16 years 3 months ago

i like it,

I like it, and i think i relate, so many things we have could change to make life better. But because things have been done a certain way for so long, we accept them even though they might be harmfull or ugly. Hope i'm right. Regards Roscoe....
Heading South

Heading South

16 years 3 months ago

Hi Roscoe

I'm really glad you could relate to this. Thanks for the read and comment! Daniel
xena465

xena465

16 years 3 months ago

I like it too…very

I like it too...very descriptive and lovely flow...just like a poet. Rosina xena465
Seren

Seren

16 years 3 months ago

Dear Daniel

Wonderful poetry again ... only one suggestion maybe break it in the middle somewhere for added emphasis? ... just an idea nothing more thanks for sharing again ... its always like finding a rare stone when I find one of your poems love and hugs Jayne-Chloe
Heading South

Heading South

16 years 3 months ago

Dear Jayne

I considered splitting it up as well but couldn't find a suitable point to do so...probably because I wrote it as a stream of consciousness. Many thanks for the feedback and kind comment! All the best, Daniel