Thank you for my smile.

 Slowly, she awoke to another day.  Nothing was special about this day. Blinded from the past that haunts her dreams, she smiled. She smiled the smile that she has known all to long. The smile that covers all the pain, the sorrow, the reality that is hers. Nobody knows how fake this smile truly is, they go about their day, thankful her smile exists.

She welcomes the new day, figuring something will eventually go her way. She has nothing but a distant dream to further motivate her to breathe. Already the world has offered so many different things, yet she still walks. She walks as if there is nothing before her or behind. She walks as if there is nothing, nothing other than the air that she breathes. She is filled with life as she goes about her day, meeting with people here or there. Taking care of responsibility, seems to be the only thing that matters. 

But who is this? Holly. Holly, has gracefully entered her life. Holly has awakened a new light. Holly has lit the light, the flame has returned to ignite the fire and the passion that burns so deep within. There is nothing more magical than the feeling that she brings to me. This is a story of my smile. No longer do the nights frighten me with their deception. Holly has given me a smile today that I can carry with me to tomorrow. Holly is her name. Hope is becoming mine. I meet with people here and there, an yet my smile is everywhere. I awake to the day an no longer am I struggling to find the strength to smile. For my smile is already there. 

As I look over at the body that rests within my arms. I smile. I smile because she is choosing to breathe the very breath that fuels her body, an she is breathing with me. My smile stays and is no longer a stranger to me for she taught me to enjoy. She taught me lessons she didn't even know she was teaching. She allowed me to open my eyes, simply because I would be a fool not to recognize the beauty before me. The beauty that shines through her eyes, how can I not smile, because she looks at me. My smile, her smile, ... ah the simplicity of a smile. Yet all the while who knew it was so hard for me to smile before?

My smile is a smile for myself, she can love me while damaged why can I not love myself? My pain does not condemn me in my future and present. My pain is the chapters of my past an sure to be a part of my future. But my smile, is no longer away. My smile is the very tool that I need to find the strength inside of me. Holly, Holly, gives me reason to smile. Holly opens my heart in a way that it has not been before. She makes my soul smile. She makes my heart smile an most of all, she makes me feel okay to smile. 

My smile is not out of place, as I watch. I watch as she walks across the grass barefoot, as she enjoys the small things in life, as she watches me. I watch, as she goes about life, as she plays with her daughter, as she shines. I watch as she glows, as she hums away at the day. I watch as she inhales her last drag of her cigarette, as she thinks, and slowly smiles to her self. I wonder, I wonder what it is that she thinks of? I wonder how big my smile will be the day that she allows me to know. But most of all I watch with gratitude. Thank you Holly, thank you for returning my smile. SImply because you awake an gently kiss my lips. Because you pull me close and you remind me what it feel like to be wanted, to be loved. 

Slowly as you find out more of the dark colors of my past, I wonder, why? Why is it you still want me? But you do and you force me to smile. The funniest part is you don't even know that you do it. You don't even know the power that you have, that I have willing given. Or maybe I tell myself i gave it to you to comfort the fact that I have no control. The love that we have is out of control, it is growing steadily, and I wait patiently to see where it will lead us. You returned my smile, thank you lover.