Seren

Feb 17, 2010 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Dream of Creation

She was asleep
but her gaze dragged above,
and a shadow was drawn with them

she let him make night

swathing her in darkness
planting nebula in sockets,
he watched galaxies grow
as a yawning black hole
revealed destiny

he made moons of breasts
the big bang started low
in on her belly,
the Louvre hung a milky way
under the pyramid of glass

she became another universe
rolled out as Tibetan prayer mat,
worshipped from the beginning
a religion of the ancients,
and demon in dark ages

comets shot to fizz
and suns burned
till Eve's eternal blaze ended

~~~~

shimmering in black velvet
licking rice from suns,
I stoke the fires,
of the inferno
blowing the everlasting breath
smoothing meteors,
in the nuclear fusion of solar wind

but I am cold

shooting comets erupted
and dead stars were born

over and over
I craft a tide in astronomy

forever swathed in the blackness,
and around the pillars of creation,

as shadows ripple
along hem of Nyx,
my shoulders rest on hands Divine

— Seren, Feb 17, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Beyond the Black Stump..Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda, P.K.Page, W.H.Auden, to many and various to include them all ...

Critiques

CyberSpace

16 years 3 months ago

as usual orsm poem love

as usual orsm poem love hubby xoxoxoxox

Seren

16 years 3 months ago

Thanks for reading this one

Thanks for reading this one (hugs) and love wifey

Seren

16 years 3 months ago

LOL glad you liked it ... you know its funny I never watched much star trek till recently,loved the newest Star Trek with a new young Kirk lol ... hope you enjoyed the thoughts lol Love and hugs Jayne-Chloe x x x

seabhac

16 years 3 months ago

Hi Jayne

Just a quick visit but was stopped by theopening verse and yes held on tightly until the climax... I have to say my favourite verse is he made moons of breasts the big bang started low in on her belly, the Louvre hung a milky way under the pyramid of glass That middle line just making me laugh out loud and I love the imagery of the glass triangle hung in this way.... Way to go girl Seabhac

Seren

16 years 3 months ago

Dear Liz

This one was a bit abstract lol but that was the idea just playing around and seeing where I can take them ... glad you enjoyed this one its got a couple of tweaks that need sorting but other than that ... its nearly done love and big hugs Jayne-Chloe

Kailashana

16 years 3 months ago

My other daughter, Tamara

My other daughter, Tamara doesn't want to read some of my er....poems; and perhaps I shouldn't be reading some of .....er Jayne's. lol. Quite the exhibitionist aren't we? Hugles of love, Mum

Seren

16 years 3 months ago

Pmsl …. come on Mum just

Pmsl .... come on Mum just think of them as someone elses hahaha talk to you in a few days ... love and biggest hugs Jayne-Chloe x x x

Venus x

16 years 3 months ago

Great Sensual Pen :-)

Venus I have just woken up, after reading this, I think I'm ready to go back to bed. **Wicked Grin** Great, sensual pen, Jayne, of time, space and "BEing" Thanks for sharing **Smiles** Hugs, Venus xx

Seren

16 years 3 months ago

Dear Venus

Thank you so much for the comment its much appreciated ... had to giggle at going back to bed lol thanks so much for the comment really glad you liked this one love and hugs Jayne-Chloe x x x

Stuart Reiss

16 years 3 months ago

Comic fantasy

What a ride on a star covered roller coaster.... I felt as if I was up in the stars with my one true love Passing time like it was chocolate covered... Lovely piece this one WELLDONE! regards Stu :-)

Seren

16 years 3 months ago

Dear Stuart

Glad you liked this one ... I am going to be away for a week or two look forward to catch up with everyones writes when I get time to pop in love and big hugs Jayne-Chloe x x x

Nordic cloud

16 years 3 months ago

"till Eve’s eternal blaze ended"

Ann of Norway I think this needs a little work on it, its contents are superb but it doesn't quite pull together completely for me. I read that it was two poems put together after this bit of my comment and perhaps that's why the slight feeling of a muddle. "the Louvre hung a milky way  under the pyramid of glass" I don't know why I found the great hulk of L'Ouvre appearing in the middle of this otherwise elemental poem gave me a shock. "she become another universe"...........became? "and demon in dark ages".... a demon? "till Eve’s eternal blaze ended".....can something eternal end? "along hem of Nyx,"........... the hem? "comets shot to fizz  and suns burned   till Eve’s eternal blaze ended".....Liked this best, the sounds too, just listen to the effects? Well that's my first visit dear Jayne, love me XXXOOO

Seren

16 years 3 months ago

Dear Ann

I will try and anwer your questions quickly while I have five minutes ... this one is touching on surrealism I guess you could say and its nearly finished I only plan a couple of tweaks...ok the Lourve hanging the milky way like a great work of art ??? and the pyramid of glass that stands above the loourve or next to it never having been there I had to take license and make it my own ... YES ! she became ... not become lol thanks for picking that one up the demon through dark ages ... there was a point of history cant remember where I read it that one part of a culture was scared of night believing it to be demons and the day the celestials thats a reference to that and the idea of eves eternal blaze ending ... everything ends sometime somewhere (just my opinion) and along the hem of Nyx ... Nyx was goddess of night said to have given birth to sleep and death sorry I couldnt repand more but my times limited this morning hope that cleared some of the points you raised up love and biggest hugs Jayne x x x

Nordic cloud

16 years 3 months ago

Nyx, what a lovely yet awesomely frightening goddess.

Ann of Norway OH Jayne I knew you meant that with the Louvre entrance as I have been there too and the reflection of this to the sky was a beautiful thought it was just that its bulk disturbed the context for me, just being sensitive. the great work of art was also implied of course I felt that too, and yet still I had the strange feeling of discomfort I don't know why. Perhaps he ethereal sense of the poem made this stand out and possibly had there been more reference to buildings or similar objects this would have read easily. I'm just being me, so never mind if you disagree! I didn't look up Nyx having not met it before but I shall now, what a lovely yet awesomely frightening goddess. Love to you and all well be with you Ann.

Seren

16 years 3 months ago

Hmmmmm I have had an idea

Hmmmmm I have had an idea and I see what you mean about their being no other signifigant buildings/references... lol but you just have given me the best idea for a poem ... Ann your a darling I could kiss you right now (hugz)thank serendipirty and Ann lol ... Oh you are going to love this idea best one I have had for ages lol I promise to dedicate the poem to you since you were the muse for this one ... will flesh it out and finish it when I get back give me a couple of weeks to iron it out so to speak ... love and biggest hugs Jayne-Chloe x x x

Nordic cloud

16 years 3 months ago

WHOOPPEEE! Dear Jayne

Ann of Norway I am so happy I inspired you, have tried that already today elsewhere too, and think I can manage it sometimes, my love to you and may your wonderfully exciting imagination topple all the buildings of this earth into a most intriguing poem that has us looking skywards in wonder!! My good friend Jayne, with love Ann.

Seren

16 years 3 months ago

Nothing to topple but I

Nothing to topple but I definately have a ripper of an idea and it came from you so this ones forever going to be dedicated to you but I will make sure I get it just right before I post, so as not to screw it up lol been a little fuzzy lately and the poetry suffers love and biggest hugs Jayne-Chloe x x x

Stefan

16 years 3 months ago

wow

In mortal words, do we give birth to wisdom, the reality of the universe. Great poem

Seren

16 years 3 months ago

Dear Stefan

I give birth to thoughts dont know about their wisdom but all reality is the universe ... thanks for the comment so glad you liked this one ... love and hugs Jayne-Chloe

Seren

16 years 3 months ago

Dear Indi

Am not sure what you mean maybe if you expanded a little ?? sorry got confused as to what you meant take care Jayne-Chloe

Seren

16 years 3 months ago

Dear indi

I understand now thanks for the explanation but if you read the first part ... he planted nebulas in my eyes ... and in the second part they burst and explode ... so forming dead stars ... super nova is already alluded to in the line before I know its probably a bit obscure but I am just starting to branch out and write different things i am sure I will come back to this one when I am posting again and I will consider changing those two lines so they fall in line with each other .. thanks so much for expanding and making that cleaer for me was a little confused the other night when I read it lol Jayne-Chloe

judyanne

16 years 3 months ago

Set off all sorts of visions

Set off all sorts of visions and pictures in my mind. she became another universe rolled out as Tibetan prayer mat, worshipped from the beginning a religion of the ancients, and demon in dark ages soooooooo good. Love it. Judy

Seren

16 years 3 months ago

Dear Judy

Glad you liked this one ... I ahve started writing with a different sort of poetry in mind and these last few are my first goes at it ... they arent all finished properly couple need tweaks but when I get back to writing in a short while i will be working on them a little ... thanks for the read glad you liked those lines they are staying and I have no plans to change them lol the rest well ... I will sort it out later lol love and hugs Jayne-Chloe

Geezer

16 years 3 months ago

Sorting it out...

Back to bed for me too! I had dreams of women taking over the world, and want to get back to the part where I was worshipped. LOL I like your new style and look eagerly for your return. Big huggles, ~ Gee

Seren

16 years 3 months ago

Dearest Gee

I had time to post one more before I left so I just posted it will be popping in from time to time, so keep writing i see you started writing a little more i cant wait to see killer branch out .... anyway you take care my friend glad you enjoyed this one made me giggle and wake hubby hahaha love and big hugs Jayne-Chloe x x x

Venus x

16 years 3 months ago

LOL Gee

Venus LOL Gee, Can't help but **Grin** with that remark....Happy Dreaming **Smiles**

Seren

16 years 3 months ago

Dear Venus

Hes a darlin man oh Gee and makes me laugh quite often lol you both got me grinning moons here ... lol love and hugs Jayne-Chloe x x x btw loved your standing people poem today ~!

Venus x

16 years 3 months ago

Dear Jayne-Chole

Venus Dear Jayne-Chloe, I must say, Gee sounds like a charming individual with a great sense of humor.......lol Thank you on the Standing People, I shall have to go see what you wrote **Smiles** I'm not much of a day person, it takes me a while to get going.......lol Love and hugs, Venus xxx

Seren

16 years 3 months ago

Dear Venus

I am only a day person in the summer months and then live in the water lol ... so I know what you mean about taking awhile to get going ... lol takes me an hour to get my brain to work I am a nightdweller lol and Gee is a darlin man and a wonderful friend I couldnt ask for nicer friends here I have really been blessed love and big hugs Jayne-Chloe x x x