adjei agyei-baah

Feb 14, 2010 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Unshaken (To His Valentine)

Let the stars lose their grip and fall

Let the sun suspend its light

And make the moon go angry and moody

Just to bring the lovers’ walk to a sudden halt

Let the rainbow refuse to give its colours

And my love for you will remain unshaken

Let the song birds withhold their melodies

Let bridges refuse to cross the rivers

Let the ants cease to create their tunnels

Let the lion's roar go unheeded

And my love for you will remain unshaken

Let the rain refuse to quench the desert’s thirst

Let the ocean keep its waves from the shores' bosom

Let the strong winds continue forever

To keep the flowers in tremble

And my love for you will remain unshaken

Let the skies tumble

Let Sicily’s Etna spit its fire

Let icebergs melt to overflow the sea

Let meteorites send shivers

Down the world’s spine

And my love for you will remain unshaken

Let butterflies starve flowers of their kiss

Let the bees deny their queen the smallest drop of nectar

Let the blue skies deny the sea of its colour

Let whispering winds forever remain unseen

But my love for you will remain unshaken

Let Tom and Jerry continue to pull each other's tail

Let the harmattan continue to suck the grasses pale

Let the ocean conntinue to gnaw at the helpless land

Let the computers continue to rule the world

My love for you will remain unshaken

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: GHA

Comments

Kailashana

16 years 2 months ago

This poem is befitting

This poem is befitting absolute silent recognition. A bow of the head. But then it would be lonely for attention and so I say: OMG. This is incredible. Easily the best love poem I have read befitting a Kahlil Gibran, a Pablo Neruda. I had to look up. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harmattan Thank you. Thank you. ~Anna

adjei agyei-baah

16 years 2 months ago

thanks Anna

Thanks Anna for your wonderful comment, I will say that poets at this site are well matured and well read and hence cannot mount “anything” for their consumption. You are the inspiration to this great piece for you have always stretch thinking faculty in trying to walk with the giants like you. But I will apologize for my absence for a while .I have taken a lectureship appointment and have been busy for a while in trying to adjust to this post. Hope to bounce back with vigor and in different style.

point.of.redemption

16 years 2 months ago

:D

i love it!

adjei agyei-baah

16 years 2 months ago

Thankx

Thanks for seeing the beauty in my piece.I appreciate your time spent in reading it. You will be the inspiration for more to come!

Ink Dragon

16 years 2 months ago

Dear Sinnbadd,

congratulations on making spotlight with this piece. I think it is one of your best to date. My only teensy point of criticism is the repetition of busy in the bee line. Was that intentional? Yours, ~Nina

adjei agyei-baah

16 years 2 months ago

Thanks Dragon Lady

Thanks for appreciating my work.You have always been one of my personal favorites. I am just doing my best to catch up the pace set by other poets on this site. I was trying to sound a bit alliterative with the line "let the busy bees get busy with their honey" and hence was intentional and I hope it wasn’t a cheap one. Thanks for following.By the way have you come out with any publication? Kindly let me know and how I can get one.

Ink Dragon

16 years 2 months ago

Dear Sinnbadd,

as requested, my review of your current revision: I think you have managed to improve an already great poem, there were only a few minor trouble spots, pointed out below: Let the ocean restrain its waves to reach the shores’ bosom (would read grammatically better as: Let the ocean keep its waves from the shores' bosom) Let the bees deny their queen of a honey drop (Let the bees deny their queen the smallest drop of nectar; for two reasons, 1: deny usually is used without of, 2: I think bees do not eat/drink honey, but nectar) Otherwise, very good work here. Yours, ~Nina

adjei agyei-baah

16 years 2 months ago

Corrections well noted

Thanks for the grammatical error correction and the fine-tuning of the bees's line.You perfectly make sense to me and I will update right away.Thanks once again for always watching and following we the budding Neos. With Love, Sinnbadd

Darknlovely3436

16 years 2 months ago

.

Bonitaj

16 years 2 months ago

A lovely poem...

another Great "OUT OF AFRICA" Congrats on the Spotlight! Bonitaj

adjei agyei-baah

16 years 2 months ago

Thanks for seeing the beauty

Thanks for seeing the beauty in Africa, we also have something up our sleeves hahahaha

adjei agyei-baah

16 years 2 months ago

Other comments from www.oneghanaonevoice.com

Prince Kwasi Mensah said... A fitting poem for Val's day... I love the indomitable feel in Unshaken, the fact that whether things go wrong or not, love will still exist between two people. Unshaken mixes promise and prophecy into a palatable tribute to real love. Well done, Adjei! Dela Bobobee said... Breathtakingly beautiful! This is a well written poem. The emotions were powerfully evoked,the build up of imagery vividly apt, and the overflow very spontaneous. Your mastery of tugging at human emotional strings is very remarkable. The effective use of repetition was handled very well. I bet the recipient of this irrevocable promise would still be blushing until the very end. The word "Unshaken" could make a very beautiful unisex name in my language, moreso when she is now "heavy". Ha, gotcha! You know what I mean? Wow! You kept me breathless to the very expected end- "My love for this poem remains unshaken." Dela Bobobee said... Oh, I almost forget! Happy Valentine's Day, to all lovers out there. Prince Kwasi Mensah has already set the ball rolling, and lover boy poet, Adjei Agyei-Baah has set the right mood with his very romantic poem. Today coincidentally is my wife's birthday.Formidably Unshakable combination! It is definitely going to be a Double "Unshakable" Celebration. Double Gbosa! Dela Bobobee

DimondDivinity

16 years 2 months ago

beautiful poem all the

beautiful poem all the worlds changes and distractions yet true love remains unchanged! one line that just did not fit for me tho Let Tom and Jerry continue to be foes lol Keyanna

adjei agyei-baah

16 years 2 months ago

Thanks for reading, will see

Thanks for reading, will see what I can do about it,maybe a finetune

Orphani

16 years 2 months ago

Truely of all things love is

Truely of all things love is the only one that endures. Within its power the mountains are as dust in passing. We share your joy in this fine work that graces the giver, and the reciever as one. B

adjei agyei-baah

16 years 2 months ago

I’m glad you were touched

I'm glad you were touched with this piece.Thanks for reading and your joy will become my fuel to write more.

Monalisa

16 years 2 months ago

Like the Song of Solomon.

Adjei Agyei-Baah (How is your name pronounced?) Thank you for this lovely write. It has a Song of Solomon feel for me. Will you please help me understand the line, "My love for you will remain unshaken"? I think it means that, even though all the other natural order of things may come to a screeching halt, or cease to be faithful to their symbiotic relationships, your love will remain loyal. If that's the case, then, in my opinion, there a few lines that need work, as they are inconsistent with the rest of the poem: The lion rules the jungle already, so what could happen to the lion that would make the jungle feel vulnerable without its king? The ocean waves kissing the shores is what is expected of a faithful ocean. So, what could make the ocean waves be disloyal to the shore. Same idea with the bees busy with their honey. What do you think? Do I have it all wrong? One more thing I noticed: Just to bring lovers’ walk to sudden halt; should it be, [the] lovers' walk to [a] sudden halt? I really like this poem and would like to hear what you think about what I saw in it. It's important to me get feedback on my critiques, as it's all part of the learning process and why I'm here. Thank you, Mona

adjei agyei-baah

16 years 2 months ago

wonderful pinpoint

That's a wonderful pinpoint and really make some sense to me.The eyes that look are many, the ones the see are rare.Maybe others thought it to be OK.But I think you have an issue worth visiting.I will fine-tune these lines and bounce back.Thanks for your deep scrutiny. Thanx Sinnbadd

Nordic cloud

16 years 2 months ago

You are right its good this poem.

Ann of Norway "Let the stars lose their grip and fall".....................That's a good beginning! "Let the ocean restrain its waves to reach the shores’ bosom".......I like this image " land struggle over eldership."....what is eldership? This is strange the negation of things to show your unshaken love, yet you have made a good poem here with vivid imagery I like it Adeji Yours Ann.

adjei agyei-baah

16 years 2 months ago