The Road Is too long

Ann of Norway The road is long It’s a life that is too short, Who so ever comes along?.............don't need so here To them say hello For who knows who will remain Who will not tomorrow?...............a lot of who's Such morrows come and go,....... a little affected the morrows The road of life is long, Some passengers alight, Some get on The road of life continues.......... a it too much continues and is long not needed From here to eternity, Oh where is it did you ask of me,......it? Even I don’t know Can’t that you see,...........not English The road of life is long,...........again!!! It has no end,..............we know that by now We started millions of aeons ago,..................millions and aeons are the same thing And yet haven’t come to any end........... another end The road of life..........................................we've established that already Is long,................................................haven't we? Put this on the line above It’s long, It is long. Well Istan this is my look at it if its worth anything? It is indeed a long road but it goes past terribly quickly sometimes. Yours Ann

I can't add anything to what Ann has said. She has some very good suggestions there. I enjoyed the read and truly life is a long road. Mine is most of the way toward the end, but it is and has been a wonderful ride. Pay attention to the suggestions Ann made as they are valid and very good one. Well done! Respectfully, Rett: “Anyone who sacrifices liberty for security deserves neither.” Benjamin Franklin

I like your poem, I felt the last line "it's long" to be unneeded, but it may just be my own way of looking at a poem. I think a couple of stanza breaks may help this one have more affect, but it is good.

Ann of Norway Oh Istan, oh, do you know what I am thinking now? You could, just an idea, change this into a very short succinct poem almost like a haiku but not quite and it would have the power that Richard is suggesting in his comment, the idea is good but you have stretched it out a little too much and thereby weakened the message of its song. O how terrible to tell someone to shrink their poem so much but I wonder if instead, perhaps, if this is a coveted poem, you could write a separate poem on the same theme and using the material in this one create another; that would be a good way of doing it I think. No? Have a bash! Yours Ann.