Dance free

A dancing figure draped in cobwebsrusty on the shelfCorroded in dark reflectionforlorn by itself.
Paralyzed in shadows curtain lost distractions heldEmerged by love a trace of lightSlowly gears un-weld.
Cold mechanics grinding into life Creaking painful tearsIncreasing speed and brillianceOvercoming fears.
Illuminated eerie spectresMelting in the bluesA catherine-wheel of particles splashing coloured hues.
Enlivened, tumbling cogs and wheels Burnished by desireAt last the figure dances freedressed in gold attire.

— mand, Feb 15, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: GBR

Critiques

xena465

16 years 3 months ago

Just great...

I like the flow and the rhyming, kept me reading till the end. Well written. Rosina xena465

mand

16 years 3 months ago

Thanks for your comment.I

Thanks for your comment. I think this poem is hard to understand. Basically it's about a person who has been hurt and betrayed in love, shutting down emotionally, "paralized in dark reflection." Then a spark of love ignites and she/he battles to overcome the fear of being hurt again. With much effort dark thoughts and fears are dispelled, "gears un-weld" bad thoughts " eerie spectres" are replaced, with "a cathrine wheel of particals splashing coloured hues" better memories. The more the memories accumulate the more the person is free "enlivened cogs etc" freeing them to dance the dance of love, no longer a statue on the shelf. I hope all this makes sense.

xena465

16 years 3 months ago

I did get what your poem was

I did get what your poem was about. It's not hard to understand at all. I should've added a bit more to my comment so that you knew that I did appreciate your writing. Next time I'll say a little more about how I felt with your poems. Rosina xena465

mand

16 years 3 months ago

Xena456

I think I was a bit insecure, thinking that no one would understand it, so I appreciate your new comments. Thanks for making them!

xena465

16 years 3 months ago

Always read your poem over

Always read your poem over and over and if you're happy with it, post it. Poetry is not easily understood by some readers, but a true poet reading from another real poet will understand what you write, if they take the time. So wash away those insecurities and just keep writing and posting your work. Rosina xena465

judyanne

16 years 3 months ago

Your use of imagery is so

Your use of imagery is so good here Mand. This is an excellent write and trips off the tongue beautifully. I love it, and as Rosina said, you don't have to explain your work at all. Even if the reader doesn't 'get' what you are actually saying, if they 'get' what's pertinent for them when they read it then you have succeeded. Love Judy xxx

judyanne

16 years 3 months ago

Forgot to give you your

Forgot to give you your stars xxx

mand

16 years 3 months ago

Thanks guys, your very

Thanks guys, your very encouraging, I know I can relax and just get on with it, it makes a difference to know that.