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Beach Run In Aquamarine

BEACH RUN IN AQUAMARINE


sunlight
laughs clean
bites the waves
swallows mean dawn
morning stretches drawn
along the foaming sea of green
swirls upon her sand-brushed feet
flips her hair into the wind

she’s mahogany red sin
salt-kissed whispered wildfire
burned hard and straight on in
tongue wrapped rips and twists
taste of sweet freedoms missed

feel her madness shift
intensity leaps high undry
eternity holds time apart
hours gripped with hotwired powers
make her sweat and beg at last

now hold her back
right through those tremorous
gasps of shaking raging mad
and slowly ride her rising tides
just to drop her down again
around that magic turn
into her long wet stretch
and before she dashes to the end
do that once again

let her learn how hunger smarts
let her have a full day’s start
you’re a quarterhorse
and she’s a full blood thoroughbred
don’t let her come ahead of
the final length of screamin’ love
you know she’s hidden in
both her winnin’ hearts

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: USA

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Comments

M

Monalisa

16 years 2 months ago

Great Imagery

What did you think of my title? I like the title. Anything with Beach in it, I'll read. That's what drew me in. How was my language use? I think your images are vivid and your comparisons are really good. At first, I thought I was reading about sunlight but then, after reading a few more times, I wonder if I'm reading about a riding a horse on the beach. And then, I think, this is marvelous, freeing and I can taste, feel and hear everything. But it also appears to be about great sex. What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing? good internal rhyme and flow. How was the beginning/ending of the poem? The poem took me to a place I wasn't expecting. Is the internal logic consistent? Yes. Thanks, Mona
M

michaelfirewalker

16 years 2 months ago

Beach Run In Aquamarine

thanks, Mona...really helpful comments...don't receive any help on the site I work on now, so I really appreciate it when I do... mikey
M

michaelfirewalker

16 years 2 months ago

Beach Run In Aquamarine

heyyy whitetea...hope you liked this one...I love writing sex, but I'm careful about it...don't want to offend anyone...just think it's such a gorgeous part of life!...I also write about lots of other different stuff, too...long time now... thanks for commenting... mikey