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Seren
Seren
Feb 14, 2010 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

of a breaking in the silence

whisper to me in dark places,
unshackling my mute form

revive the thousand voices,
I have sustained in a forever
unspoken and formless
so as to be forgotten,
it was in a night-scape,
the void of sound
negated speech

I break into flight,
with an oath choking
on my first cry

I drift on the hair of my nape,
as the weave of my cloth
spirals, for a moment

as gums bleed out
the rhythm in my shade, refrains

I ask of you,
caress me in a softness
of mourning,
whisper to me of dark places

for now,
I am a broken vow of silence
spoken in a thousand tongues

— Seren, Feb 14, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Beyond the Black Stump..Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda, P.K.Page, W.H.Auden, to many and various to include them all ...

More from this author

Critiques

Seren

Seren

16 years 3 months ago

Dear Mummy I think you know

Dear Mummy I think you know what I am talking about ... thanks for seeing that ... Love and biggest hugs Jayne-Chloe x x x x
Seren

Seren

16 years 3 months ago

Dear Annie

I guess when we are loved deeply and love deeply ... the real essence of 'us' makes up that more potent ... thanks for the read and the comment its much appreciated love and hugs Jayne-Chloe x x x
L

Lonnie

16 years 3 months ago

Passionately written!

and, to be read in the same manner! A great read chocked full of intensity and imagery that sears the eye! Beautifully done!
Seren

Seren

16 years 3 months ago

Dear Lonnie

Thankyou so much for your comment ... I am so glad everyone liked it ... hope your both doing well much love and big hugs Jayne-Chloe
Nordic cloud

Nordic cloud

16 years 3 months ago

And what a voice, what shouts of thoughts,

Ann of Norway And what a voice, what shouts of thoughts, what speed and flight you create for our minds to catch and sail along on through the abyss of time's spaces, where you see the unseen, the strange and beautiful through the skin of your teeth. Celibate, broken loose from sworn silence, speak your piece and we just stand by and listen, in awe. Dearest Jayne from Ann.XXOO
Seren

Seren

16 years 3 months ago

Dearest Ann

You sweep me up in the swoon of your words and deliver me back to the ground forever changed Inspirations middle name ;) thanks for your beautiful comment it is appreicated my friend love and biggest hugs Jayne-Chloe x x x
VX

Venus x

16 years 3 months ago

Outstanding visualizations

Venus Seren, This is beautiful! so sensual.... passionate! It carries you to the height of bliss. Lovely written.... beautiful pen! **Smiles**
Seren

Seren

16 years 3 months ago

Dear Venus

Thank you ~~!~!~! sooo much for your wonderful comment i could whirl dervishes ... so Happy you liked it made my day when I got home and saw all these messages love and big hugs Jayne-Chloe
ID

Ink Dragon

16 years 3 months ago

Dear Jayne,

I am having trouble picking a favourite line from this one, so I am going to point out the one thing I felt might be improved I ask of you, caress me in a softness of mourning, whisper to me of dark places (that way, it's more like the speaker is asking to whisper, I often feel that gerunds tend to take some of the impact away) Love&hugs to you on this Valentine's day. Yours, ~Nina P.S. One more thing: the comma in front of "refrains", do you need it?
Seren

Seren

16 years 3 months ago

Dearest Nina

Thanks so much for the visit lovely to see you huni ... I have been debating on that one line to whisper or whispering .... I will make a desicion when I do an edit in a minute ... and the comma before refrains, I took it out at one stage but put it back ... my heart needs that comma ;) .... love you huni hope you had a lovely valentines day . Love and biggest hugs Jayne-Chloe x x x
Seren

Seren

16 years 3 months ago

Dear Nina

Remember how horrid my spelling and punctuation was from lack of use hahaha ... god its been hard but I am slowly relearning ... and now when it comes to places like that comma up there .... well I follow my heart .... we would be screwed without our instincts, I didnt always listen to mine ... I do now thought lol hope things are getting better for you and calming down ... so good to see you around huni love and biggest hugs Jayne-Chloe x x x
Geezer

Geezer

16 years 3 months ago

Tenderness...

The tenderness and longing shine through here. Love is always. Passion can be tamed, but never broken. Happy Valentine's Day, Higgest bugs and lotta love, ~ Gee
Seren

Seren

16 years 3 months ago

Dearest Gee

I am so glad you liked this one ... lol you know whats funny in your comment above you say something that I have in my next poem wont spoil it but as soon as you read it your going to be shocked ... funny how that works sometimes hope you well dear Knight and had a lovely Valentines day much love and hugs Jayne-Chloe x x
Ross Hamilton Hill

Ross Hamilton Hill

16 years 3 months ago

your poem

How could it not be a fine poem with a first line like that. really beaut stuff, only thing i didn't like is the 'bleeding gums' image sort of spoilt the tone for me, but 'whisper to me in dark places' just love it. really sustained work.
Seren

Seren

16 years 3 months ago

Dear Ross

I think maybe I should have posted this one on a different day ... its about a longing of a different sort and the bleeding gums and the word 'mourning' is a tip to the road of its message ... thanks for the comment glad you liked it ... but in reality those bleeding gums well they stay ... for even in the longing it cannot all be wine and roses I guess lol thanks hun much appreciated comment kind regards Jayne-Chloe
xena465

xena465

16 years 3 months ago

Brilliant...

Defintely a 5 star rate. It has passion beyond passion. Rosina xena465
Seren

Seren

16 years 3 months ago

Dear Xena

And its also about loving long after well after lol .... ;) thanks for your kind comment Xena I am glad you liked this one ... its much appreciated ... I was just commenting on your newest bizarre lol ... love and biggest hugs Jayne-Chloe x x x
loved

loved

16 years 3 months ago

comments

your poem inspires me to write a poem with ur express permisssion Ecstasy Ecstasy thy love, Shall devour Your very being, What folks have written Are the reflexes of? An erotic, Ecstatic, dream In love we exude As one does in orgasm, Who am I? Love of yours to fathom. You are a composer Of the juices of life Perhaps some ones wife, Some ones desire, Who am I to ignite a fire? It’s already ablaze I live in a sexual maze. Where can one find Erotic love of this kind Between woman And mankind loved hope you will like it