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Roses of a Valentine Love….

Roses of a Valentine Love….

 

I waited in the garden where I live, all long the whole silent day, longing that he will pass, this lovely Valentine day and to me surely hello he’ll say. But the day is nearing its end, there is neither a bell boy nor a card did he send.

 

But my hopes are pinned

On the rows of roses

Those are red,

We all know.

The petals are soft too,

That’s a great show.

 

But a rose in ones’ hand

Is an indication?

Of a likelihood of lovely reunification

When shall come my chance, to a Valentine be,
instead of infatuation

When will someone a red rose present to me,

 

Today I turn sixteen

This February fourteen,

Will someone send?

A basket of roses my way

Just for name,

If not for love sake

Just for my lovely Valentine day.

 

Ah! There comes Sam with a rose,

Perhaps from his elder brother

I suppose,

But the dear guy smiles and passes by,

If he hadn’t the rose to give me,

Why did the guy come, just tell me?

 

He did come I don’t know why, then as I was about to go away, running, towards me was Sonny. Panting, smiling, sighing, laughing, crying, and sweating. Hardly could he wait to say, come my Valentine, it’s our biggest day today.

 

 

This rose I had sent for you

But Sammy wanted himself to woo,

So when I learnt of his game,

I couldn’t wait, I am late, forgive me

Please be my Valentine, not for now

But all my life,

I promise to make you

My loving wife

If you desire you may

Kiss me,

Kiss me,

Kiss me,

But my Lovely one,

Don’t you ever miss me!

 

 

 

 

— loved, Feb 13, 2010

About This Poem

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Country/Region: ROU

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Critiques

Morgana Tragic Proprietress

Morgana Tragic…

16 years 2 months ago

Hey lover

Honestly, I am not a fan of love poetry, especially when they have cliches. I like the story line you attempted, but I think you should maybe focus more on the people in the story line and the structure of the poem, than you do the regular love cliches like roses and Valentine`s Day. I would definitely take out Valentine`s day, maybe replace it with the birthday or something significant but not cliche. I would also change the title. It screams love poem cliche, and I think it really does have potential to tell a great story but it is burdened down by roses and Valentine's day. And a small technicality- you don't need to capitalize the first word of every line, treat both punctuation and capitalization as you would regular sentences to make it a smoother read. Peace