Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

THE FADED JADED LADY

 

The telphone 

death knell it rang and rang and rang

no answer came

what was her name

how did she fare

in life 

what colour was her hair, 

the knife she used had red

a handle red

the tablecloth a dirty grey

her cigarrettes lay twenty

every day

her hair I said what was it 

green

no that would have been too rare

perhaps a blond 

but just because she bleached it out

for real

her nails ah those were talons long

she couldn't do her buttons up

with those

her toes were also purple blue

they used to stand out from her shoe

a strap across her ankle

black

her bra too was that

her face with painted lips of red

their dreaded puff of smoke escape

even the smoke was glad to leave 

this human chimney

join the breeze

pollute

her breasts were flat but hush

she had a bust so big and proud

all false of course

her thighs were buxom

bonny perhaps

in eyes of men and boys, 

her arms they sported bangles 

all colours, some stuck high up

her lashes, 

I jump about 

as she did 

that too and I couldn't make out 

the whole of her at once

as she flounced along the street

with the famous wobbling feet

and that bottom-swing so fetching

those wretches in the mall

they eyed her every part

not looking for her heart

instead 

well better not be said

her fart propelled her gait

its camouflaged smoke trail

described a tail

her hats and things like that 

were sky-bosh

crumpled flattened by her piles of clothes

at night

a sight she made 

if all be told

for man and child

their heads would turn and stare

how could she even dare to wear those holey tights 

with mini skirts that soon rode up

her underthings revealed

no not concealed a drop of her

the tops near reaching her nipples

her gaze gave her feelings 

sad

despite her glad smile boldly given

I wonder if there are such in heaven

she might think so

I don't know

we all become like driven snow

old age bleached and faded

gently soft and jaded

into our decline

until we stagger one last try to live it up

and cry our dismal tears 

at time its clock 

that ticks and ticks 

until it stops. 


 


— Nordic cloud, Feb 12, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Oslo and Flatdal, Norway., NOR

Favorite Poets: Too daunting this.

More from this author

Critiques

Seren

Seren

16 years 3 months ago

Dear Ann

Definately needs a few tweaks and I am happy to come back and offer some advice this one needs a time and its hot here at the moment lol I am trying not to exert the grey matter tonight ... its over 40 degrees and I feel like we are cooking in our skins ... well better not be said her fart propelled her gait its camouflaged smoke trail I have to point out ?? these lines are just brilliant dear Queen of the North I near wet myself laughing had to regather and then proceed to finish the read pmsl love you big hugs Jayne-Chloe x x x
Kailashana

Kailashana

16 years 3 months ago

There’s always one of

There's always one of those ladies in the neighborhood. I always told my kids if I ever looked like that to lock me inside. Not too long ago, they say, Mom it's time. Just kidding. It's a difficult write to read but chock full of great images and lines like the ones Jayne singled out. No one wants to leave their youth behind and slip into a caricature of themselves. Love, Anna
xena465

xena465

16 years 3 months ago

Painted ladies...

I can see this lady in `my-minds-eye`. Your description has me laughing out loud. It's a pity that some women have to go `over-the-top` to get noticed. I imagine most of these woman hate themselves as they are and when they're just their plain old selves they become a shell of the woman they want to be. Dressing to impress but the only ones they impress are the ones who'll be quick to deride them. Nice one Ann. Rosina xena465
Nordic cloud

Nordic cloud

16 years 3 months ago

Ann of NorwayYes in some

Ann of Norway Yes in some ways this is just garbled out and could be used as a gathering of thoughts for another better shaped poem or rant, poor ladies they are, and men for that matter but they don't bother so much about the decor, maybe with the freedom of certain types of men these days there could be some of those, with lipstick and nail polish who knows!!! WE all love to see the people who dare to brave the throng in big hats and all the trimmings of exaggeration don't we, I applaud them as they add 'colour' to an otherwise grey street. Thank you and I knew it would make you laugh and that is good therapy for us all every day, that's why I posted it too early!! Glad it worked thank you for your comments Love Ann.
B

bjp

16 years 3 months ago

Dear Margaret Ann,

Easily your best poem. Terrific. Bold. Audacious. Out of the closet. Olya says that it would be unjust to you if I don't tell you about the weaknesses too. It has mostly to do with the sway in and out of rhyme. The rhyme starts subtle, not interfering with the poem. Then it gets heavy handed, and interfers. Then it drops away and leaves the wonder to be near perfect, more or less, on its own. So, we are speaking of consistency. But the content is enormously good. And I doubt I have ever seen "fart" so well incorporated into a very serious poem. Brian
Nordic cloud

Nordic cloud

16 years 3 months ago

Out of the closet!!!! Yoiks! I'm no .......

Ann of Norway I wouldn't have trusted your judgement had you said it was just good, I know, I tossed it off sh! while sitting on the loo this morning and it just got a whiff of that!!!! I shall indeed do something with it as I mentioned above but I am glad it entertained you, that was why I sent it so soon to cheer you up Olya, among others, okay it has done its first 'job' but I must do something about it yes indeed I MUST. Thank you Brian your support here is great art. Love Margaret Ann
DawningDaytripper

DawningDaytripper

16 years 3 months ago

Laughing and loving it Ann,

Laughing and loving it Ann, Sometimes you just have to let it all out. And you do it so well!! Heres to hoping your clock keeps ticking for a long time yet! And the witches remember thier place, or learn how to save face at least. HAHA! Julie D.D.