arja

Feb 11, 2010 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

voices

the sun
decided to disappear
falling to the ground
fading,
a canvass drenched in water.

fear,
i think i heard you...
pardon me?
i did hear you!
say that again?
i hear you...calling...

darkness
has spread its wings,
suffocating my entity
crawling
like mist haunting its prey.

cold,
i think i feel you...
what's that?
i felt you!
where are you?
i feel cold...so cold.

hush...
...listen closely,
breath slowly,
did you hear that?
...be still,
else your heart will...

— arja, Feb 11, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Makati City, Philippines, PHL

Favorite Poets: Unknown poets who reach out and be heard through crafted words, that are pieces of life..

Critiques

Kailashana

16 years 3 months ago

I bow to you, your poem.~A

I bow to you, your poem. ~A

arja

16 years 3 months ago

..i suddenly can’t find

..i suddenly can't find the words to say..honestly, i'm honored to have you as my first reader (again)..Thank you so much!

Seren

16 years 3 months ago

beautiful poem … Anna said

beautiful poem ... Anna said to me once, poetry and poet is thus born ... kind regards Jayne-Chloe

arja

16 years 3 months ago

oh Seren! ..as beautiful as

oh Seren! ..as beautiful as you and everybody here at NEO.. thank you!

weirdelf

16 years 3 months ago

love this, emotionally compelling,

concise use of language, great metaphor. Which brings me to my only crit. I think the two similes you used could be better as metaphor- like a canvass drenched in water. a canvass drenched in water. like mist haunting its prey. mist haunting its prey. Cheers, Jess, reprehensibly irrepressible

xena465

16 years 3 months ago

A beautiful poem…I think

A beautiful poem...I think it would sound better the way jess suggested..either way I love it. Rosina xena465

arja

16 years 3 months ago

..Thanks for dropping by

..Thanks for dropping by Rosina! :)

magics02

16 years 3 months ago

Just lovely alone

I give you the five stars as I found this a very beautiful poem of your's. truly great here gal and will be back for more. love, magics02 "Determination Brings Success"

arja

16 years 3 months ago

..thanks for coming

..thanks for coming magics02! ..the stars are added bonus to your visit, thank you very much Madam! :)

Alice Ember

16 years 3 months ago

Nice

Awsome poem. I really don't know what to say just wow that was awsome. Love, Alice

arja

16 years 3 months ago

..thanks Alice! ;)

Seren

16 years 3 months ago

just popped in and noticed

just popped in and noticed you in evolution congrates with this very much deserved piece love and hugs Jayne-Chloe

arja

16 years 3 months ago

hi ms.jayne-chloe, thank you

hi ms.jayne-chloe, thank you very much for popping in again.. may i ask what it means when a poem is in evolution? ;)

Alice Ember

16 years 3 months ago

good job

Really good job. I don't really know what to say but, it was great Love, Alice

arja

16 years 3 months ago

…thank you very much

...thank you very much Alice! :) your visit means more to me..

adjei agyei-baah

16 years 3 months ago

Simplicity of words but yet

Simplicity of words but yet talking.Happy that you shared.

arja

16 years 3 months ago

thank you for coming by and

thank you for coming by and reading, really glad to share... ;)

Alice Ember

16 years 3 months ago

Okay

Anytime Alone97. Thanks for all your help I couldn't have gotten any of my poems into a decient shape without your guys is help. Love, Alice

Nordic cloud

16 years 3 months ago

Its rhythm broken in such delicate harmonic manner

Ann of Norway Dear loner, This poem, its rhythm broken in such delicate harmonic manner falls like the clacking sound of leaf on leaf on leaf in Autumns night breezes. "the sun  decided to disappear  falling to the ground  fading,  a canvass drenched in water." Oh that canvass drenched in water is magnificent and the haiku-like succinctness of this is stunning in its effect. What more, listen ... can you hear the rest of my comment? Ann in awe yes! With her love too.

arja

16 years 3 months ago