Race_9togo

Feb 10, 2010 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Heart Pain

sometimes, far along
the nooks and crannies
of a long old night
when my woman is at work
and our children are asleep,
when the glow of screen
is the only light by which
my weary eyes
can see my fingers
touching keyboard
my heart reminds me
of the times its stopped
with slender jolts of pain

One doctor says it is
the throb of arteries
another calls it
phantom surgery pain
and yet a third
once told me that
it is the needle ends
of pacemaker wires
wormed into my struggling heart

but none of them
have ever really understood
what this hint of distant anguish
really says to me, for unlike
the icy cold that gripped my flesh
when my heart stopped in death
the pain I feel now
is as welcome as dawn's sunshine
on my upturned face,
for it means I am alive.

— Race_9togo, Feb 10, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Earth Vicinity (within a five light-year radius), ZZC

Favorite Poets: John Donne, T.S. Eliot, Serendipity, Emily Dickenson, Kailashana, Charles Bukowski, Kabir, Rett, Dalton, W. B. Yeats, William Blake, Rainer Maria Rilke, and many other Neopoet poets; Neopoet has heavily influenced my poetry and my ability to write it well.

Critiques

Neonfilm

16 years 3 months ago

Yes - label, categorise,

Yes - label, categorise, medicalise all you like - but in the end we do and must create our own meaning. Beautiful, life affirming and unexpected (even though I've heard Jonny Cash say it too ;) Like it alot.

Race_9togo

16 years 3 months ago

Thanks Neon

LOL Cash, huh? Wasn't thinking about him when I wrote this. yeah I guess we do make our own meanings. I just sometimes wish that mine didnt hurt so much. Glad that you enjoyed my effort, Neon. Respectfully Jim "Laws and rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" : Race

magics02

16 years 3 months ago

Heart surgery?

What a poem as I thought of both my mom and dad going through this surgery too if I am correct in my assumption of your read. And of course the jolts, and the pacemaker to help the rhythm of the heart write his song. Let me know Magics02

Race_9togo

16 years 3 months ago

Hi Magics

Yes, heart surgery - three times so far, Quad bypass, angioplasty and now the pacemaker. Keeping my fingers crossed that there will be no more. For me it isn't actually the pacemaker that hurts - I've only been shocked by it once, and that was due to medication making my heart beat too fast. Its all the old scars and damaged arteries and where the pacemaker was set in my upper chest. My sternum still creaks along the scars left by being split open, lol, and I have a numb spot right below the pacemaker on the left side of my chest, where the nerves were cut, so that it feels like a hole I could put my hand through. But hey, I'm alive, that's what counts! Glad that you enjoyed my effort, Magics. Respectfully Jim "Laws and rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" : Race

magics02

16 years 3 months ago

Wow

Your story so much like my fathers just this day. same thing lots of meds making the heart racing. I pray for you and hope you fine rest and I love this poem of yours I really felt this one. ANd now I gather your penname racetogo love, magics02

Race_9togo

16 years 3 months ago

LOL

Thanks Magics "Laws and rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" : Race

ZARRANO

16 years 3 months ago

Hello race

Great poem written with much feeling, my father in 1988 at the age of 74 had a quad by pass, I was 19 and I am the baby from 9 kids my father was a ww2 vet and had some rough years raising a big family he had at least 3 heart attacks in his life. he was a great man who filled me with much wisdom,he lived a year after the surgery and of all people I got the call from the doctor at the hospital that he was gone, the technology wasn't as good back then and I am happy it has gotten so much better these days, and it has made me take care of myself since doctors always tell me that heart disease can be passed along so I am trying to take care of myself as i am getting older. thanks again for sharing this poem. Pauly

Race_9togo

16 years 3 months ago

Thanks Paul

Jim "Laws and rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" : Race

Ammus

16 years 3 months ago

ammusHi Jim,I liked

ammus Hi Jim, I liked it.Really touching..Your tune is good

Race_9togo

16 years 2 months ago

Hey, thanks Ammus

Respectfully Jim "Laws and rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" : Race