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Seren
Seren
Feb 09, 2010 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Chinadoll

 Deleted for Publication
— Seren, Feb 09, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Beyond the Black Stump..Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda, P.K.Page, W.H.Auden, to many and various to include them all ...

More from this author

Critiques

Kailashana

Kailashana

16 years 4 months ago

Good God, Jayne, have you

Good God, Jayne, have you been having an affair with Barry? Awesomefuckingpoem! Yum! ~A (no mum until we iron this out ;-) p.s. planned has 2 n's p.p.s. I think maybe our(number one or two?) affair is with our muse. Perhaps.
Seren

Seren

16 years 4 months ago

only one love in my life and

only one love in my life and hes under me lol hahaha love you and I am glad you liked this one ... this is taking a step into tomorrow ;) and the next and snapping outta the blues big smile love and hugs Jayne-Chloe x x x LOL I think we do have love affairs with our muses oh and I meant planed plane'd or maybe its plained lol shit I think its plained opps going to fix it now before bed
O

Orphani

16 years 4 months ago

Nothing like being in the

Nothing like being in the middle of two lovely ladies on this one of your most tender yet raw sensual poems. Your brain, like Anna's, is a poetry machine, and you girls just keep churning out some of the most beautiful and poignant poetry, in seismic waves of energy, that knocks me off my feet. Thank goodness I have a soft landing when Anna's there and I go down.
Seren

Seren

16 years 3 months ago

Dear Barrylike mother like

Dear Barry like mother like daughter eh ? thanks for the comment my friend I am glad you enjoyed this one I had started it and had a gut feeling it was a good one so I waited for the appropriate ending ... and it came to me finally ;) and I am so so glad you found each other hun love and big hugs Jayne-Chloe x x x
xena465

xena465

16 years 4 months ago

Oh the passion!

Have I ever felt such passion, need, (need I say more?) for anyone? No bloody no!!! I'm so, so jealous you lucky thing. Rosina xena465
Seren

Seren

16 years 3 months ago

Dear Rosina

After being married and not happy forever ... I found the man I am with now hes my inpsiration and my best friend couldnt ask for a better person to be with ... I am blessed and I know it, I ask for nothing else ;) love and hugs Jayne
Seren

Seren

16 years 3 months ago

Hippy … thanks for the

Hippy ... thanks for the smile I am so glad you I could give that to you ... thats one of the best parts of writing the connection between reader and writter especially here love and hugs Jayne-Chloe
L

Lunegirl

16 years 4 months ago

Hahahahahhaahahhahahaaha, im

Hahahahahhaahahhahahaaha, im loving this one you minx!! that last two line, pound and polish me iron and marble, great!!!!!!!! On the first read i missed the humour, the second though had me roaring at the vision of a woman stamping her dainty foot on tea bags, splitting them open demanding the fulfilment of her bit of rough.. love vix xx Optimism in adversity nutures positive outcomes
Seren

Seren

16 years 3 months ago

Pmsl … my turn to grin

Pmsl ... my turn to grin hahaha didnt see it like that but damn I can now ... thanks for the wonderful comment glad I could brighten your day lovely you take care love and big hugs JayCee
L

Lunegirl

16 years 3 months ago

it is so true about what

it is so true about what other s take from unintended, after i wrote that first comment, i meant to write you a pm and say i hope it didnt offend, all those hahaha's, if your piece was sensitive to you!! im such a worrier i did hope i hadn't!! Im glad i didn't and that you grinned at my sight. love to you vixy xxx Optimism in adversity nutures positive outcomes
Seren

Seren

16 years 3 months ago

Dear Vix

I am of the opinion that if it makes you laugh go for it ... only time i get offended if its about someone whos passed on or a someone showing a lack of respect ... and that is something that doesnt happen often here ... thank goodness ... respect brings with it borders and most people have the good sense not to cross the line ... you didnt offended me, you made me smile with your vision glad it made you laugh too ... without laughter there is no healing ;) love and biggest hugs JayCee
hugo la rosa

hugo la rosa

16 years 4 months ago

Dear Serene:

Nice poem you have there, it's very lyric and filled with an existential longing that is really difficult to put into words. But then again, with a poem like that you don't need explanations, because it's all heart. Excellent! Sincerely, Hugo
Seren

Seren

16 years 3 months ago

Dear Hugo

Thank you for the wonderful comment I am always happy when my friends like my scribbles ... it is much appreciated and a happy surprise when they are well received love and big hugs Jayne-Chloe x x x
J

J.Thomas

16 years 4 months ago

This is wonderful and so

This is wonderful and so delicately put. I enjoyed the third stanza most. the haunting of his implied touch is so eerie.
Seren

Seren

16 years 3 months ago

Dear J.Thomas

Glad you enjoyed my poem thank you very much for the comment ... I will return the favour as soon as I am able kind regards love Jayne-Chloe
Nordic cloud

Nordic cloud

16 years 4 months ago

She is graceful and giving enough to share it with us,

Oh our dear, dear Jayne comes with so much beauty of expression, one would think she was tuned in to some most wonderful parallel life that we haven't the privilege to see, and yet she is graceful and giving enough to share it with us, and how happy you make us feel, while we hope it gives you the same elation expressing the words and presenting them to us, by your now admiring subjects, oh Queen Jayne. "you pick me up like fine china and press my hands to your lips as if sipping tea" Our love to you dear Jayne from Ann+ XXXXXXXOOOOOOO
Seren

Seren

16 years 3 months ago

You are the Queen in my eyes

You are the Queen in my eyes dear lady ... I am speachless at your beautiful comment ... you leave me blushing and I dont do that often lol (biggest hugs) and all my love to you dear Queen Jayne-Chloe x x x
B

bjp

16 years 4 months ago

Dear Jayne-Chloe,

Another poem for Great Poetry. I now have to look around at others for ballance. you touched my eyes asleep, as if you could see the visions of want in my dream, rimming my lips of the taste lingering from my last meal, (sometimes you) Wonderful writing, Jayne-Chloe. Taking a short break seems to have been a good choice. Love and hugs, Brian
Seren

Seren

16 years 3 months ago

Dear Brian

What a wonderful surprise I didnt check these when I called in today ... I can only thank you for always being around and letting me know when I get it right ... big hugs and many thanks and I am chuffed you think its good enough for the greats I was just happy to get an ending lol love to you both Jayne-Chloe x x x
O

orgami

16 years 4 months ago

bumping thumping and ......................

Ha ha So glad to know you as a freind too Seren this is a wonderful poem subtle and evocative straight to its powerful leaving of the mind This is one that really stands out to me and I greatly enjoyed the fun of it too wonderful stuff Steven!!
Seren

Seren

16 years 3 months ago

Dear Steven ~!!

Awwwww my friend I am just happy you all liked this one ... I had a feeling it wasnt bad but I am still a little surprised as always ... thanks for your comment and insight its always good to know how people take what they read and bend it for themselves love and biggest hugs Jayne-Chloe x x x
Geezer

Geezer

16 years 4 months ago

Loving it...

I don't recall, did you take any time off? i'm not sure. I thought I heard [saw] you say that you were, but didn't see it. That is alright with me, because I miss you so much when you are gone. The word you wanted was planed , not plained. Like planing a board or surface right? You have such a lucky man there. I have no doubt that he is treating you like a china doll. Let him do it now and then. It's good for him LOL. Love ya, big hugs, ~ Gee
Seren

Seren

16 years 3 months ago

Dearest Gee

yeah had all of the week off last week, and I wont be round much this week except maybe early hours of the morning when I cannot sleep ... just called in to see the comments and got a heck of a shock and that word is planed I checked it out today when i was not half asleep as I was when I posted this one last night ... hes being very good to me and growls if I do things I am not supposed to lol but I'm a little headstrong and it becomes ... difficult sometimes I still like feeling useful you see hahaha lol love and higgliest bugs Jayne-Chloe x x x
Seren

Seren

16 years 3 months ago

Dear Seabhac

So glad you enjoyed this one I really lightened the write up am trying to move into new areas this was a first step love and hugs Jayne-Chloe x x x
whitetea

whitetea

16 years 4 months ago

what to say? i’ve read a

what to say? i've read a lot of poetry of women describing the dimensions of the connection they have with their partner. this is very original! you keep the theme strong throughout the piece. very zesty and intimate.
Seren

Seren

16 years 3 months ago

Dear Whitetea

I love that you think this one orginal ... I am really trying to write with my own voice and not with someone elses style and I am still learning ... much appreciation for the comment love Jayne-Chloe
W

Wafi

16 years 3 months ago

You Have A Way With Words

You have a way with words, Jayne! I am in love with your art. Enjoyed reading and imagening, lol. Sincerely, Wafi "Culture, location and beliefs; All vanish with love!" ~Afzal Shauq~
W

Wafi

16 years 3 months ago

:) Adorned the

:) Adorned the spotlight... Sincerely, Wafi "Culture, location and beliefs; All vanish with love!" ~Afzal Shauq~
Seren

Seren

16 years 3 months ago

Dearest Wafi

I was so pleased to see you here on my page we are lessened when your not around ... your presense and thoughts are always welcome and I cannot thank you enough for the visit,I do appreciate it spotlight ?? must have missed it lol fleeting 15mins and sometimes we are not around to see it (hugs) good to have you back around with us love and biggest hugs Jayne-Chloe
Heading South

Heading South

16 years 3 months ago

Dear Jayne

This is tender and sensual with a nice twist at the end. I love the atmosphere you created. All the best, Daniel
Seren

Seren

16 years 3 months ago

Dear Daniel

I am so glad you enjoyed this one ... I wrote the beginning and then got stuck on how I wanted to end it ... so when that happens they get put aside until serendipity comes a calling to give me inspiration ... I have found when I do that they are always a much better poem I dont push them anymore I let them come to me love and big hugs Jayne-Chloe x x x
I

IKnowNoBox

16 years 3 months ago

Fine China..

without a fragile label.. a china doll dealer that encourages the customer to toss the wares about playful..erotic.. teasing An all-the-way- thru poem. In ink, Dabbler Ps 'Ghost hands..' a verse.. a sigh.. so profound
Seren

Seren

16 years 3 months ago

Dear Dabbler

Big Smile ... your comment made my night so glad you liked what you found here ,... and that verse you pointed out is my favourite in this one as well love and hugs Jayne-Chloe